.::mushroom cloud::.

how many times can a meeting be rescheduled in a week? try (on an average) 1.6 times per day. i have had this presentation i need to give ready to roll since 8am monday (when i was supposed to give it the first time, after complete rewrite number three). then it got pushed pm, then tuesday, and so on, and so on. today was my last shot. my 11 got canceled as i was setting it up, at 10:50.

i’m leaving sunday. i’m getting sucked in to sales-land with no internal review by the president, and no clear understanding of where things will be fiscally. i have to play golf, go to a dinner, and deal with sr. mgmt of this company, and pretty much the whole time, i need to keep a smile and a good attitude, even when these fuckers are going to try and crack me like a coconut, despite the fact that there is no way that i am authorized to make the commitments they want me to make (even verbally).

i have to play golf with these people. i fucking hate golf. consider “i have to play golf with these people” said in the same tone of voice as “i told those fuckers i liked michael bolton’s music”.

sunday, during the pats game, , , and myself were talking about the use of a time out post snap to stop a kick. it is dirty pool, but it works – you get pumped up, you find your inner space, you zero in your sights, and you get ready for a fluid motion, only to have to come to a shuddering, lurching halt. i’ve done that so many times this week, i can’t begin to describe the fatigue i am feeling after facing it again.

i may try to drown myself in tiny bottles of booze while i am in south carolina.