Day: September 19, 2002

MEMORANDUM

To: Faculty and Staff of The Mount Sinai Medical Center
From: Kenneth I.Berns, MD, PhD President and CEO, The Mount Sinai Medical Center
Subject: Federal Grants to The Mount Sinai Medical Center for September 11 Financial Losses
Date: September 19, 2002

I am pleased to inform you that The Mount Sinai Medical Center will receive a total of $12,264,171 in federal grants as reimbursements for financial losses suffered as a result of our response to the attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

The grants are part of a larger $140 million assistance package that was announced on Wednesday by the U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tommy Thompson. Grants were awarded to help hospitals, clinics, community health centers, mental health providers, and other healthcare institutions recover from the financial impact of the September 11 terrorist attacks. They are intended to offset costs that cannot be recovered from any other source, such as insurance claims.

Specifically, Secretary Thompson announced the following grants:

The Mount Sinai Hospital: $10,364,171
Mount Sinai School of Medicine: $1,900,000

Our applications for these grants were the result of hard work by many people throughout the institution who provided data and information in a very timely and professional manner. As always, I appreciate your critical assistance in meeting the needs of Mount Sinai.

(1) What does the average University of Georgia player get on his SATs?
Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 8 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get a Mississippi State cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push like hell.

(4) How do you get a Kentucky graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

(5) Why do the LSU cheerleaders wear bibs?
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.

(6) Why is the Vandy football team like a possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of a South Carolina football player’s life?
His freshman year.

(8) How many Ole Miss freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That’s a sophomore course.

(9) Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco?
Tuscaloosa. He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY…

(10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it for the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

Hmm, so apparently Richelle’s mom is worried about us getting blown up. I guess enough people feel like her to want Congress to give Bush the right to go play in the sand like daddy did. Long live the new Empire… I just hope I’m dead before the Palpatine hiding in the shadows assumes total control.