Day: June 24, 2003

For those that don’t know IRC… Perhaps you aren’t missing much, below
are actual conversations.


(teefers) im khaleds rat
(teefers) he pays me $20 an hour to log anything anyone says about him
on undernet
(teefers) then i send it to him
(teefers) and he winnukes people
(vulture_) teefers: then log this: Khaled, your programming ineptitude
must be the envy of every Microsoft programmer. not to mention, I hate
you.
* teefers sends that shit to khaled and watches alex get winnuked h0 h0
h0
* vulture_ nearly injures himself watching tcpdump output…
(vulture_) 😛
(Untitled2) ha!
(Untitled2) I wish I were leet enough to interpret tcpdump raw output
real time
(vulture_) ever consider filtering it so you don’t have to?
(vulture_) 😛
(Untitled2) what would the fun in that be
(vulture_) being able to laugh at someone’s winnuke attempts?
(Untitled2) There’s an idea
(Untitled2) and have it log to syslog “silly nuke attempt from x.x.x.x
(vulture_) “initiating automatic retaliatory smurf…”

#98459 +(-9)- [X]
(DiscoFever) bah, twas the night befor christmas and all through the
house
(DiscoFever) not a creature was stiring
(+cow) not even a mouse?
(DiscoFever) except for cow because he was a fucking jew and didn’t
believe in christmas

#98450 +(589)- [X]
Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their
backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

#98447 +(175)- [X]
(Diamond) But what’s truly awesome is my new Radeon 9500 Pro.
(tidalblaze) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(Diamond) That I will treat as if it were my first-born child.
(tidalblaze) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(Diamond) …Apparently when I have kids I’m going to stick them inside
a small aluminum box.
(Diamond) And have them process numbers for me all day.
(Diamond) So I can watch porn.

#30 +(254)- [X]
(pezmasta) my band is gonna be called: rage against the answering
machine

#31 +(226)- [X]
(EM[mMF]) man
(EM[mMF]) unix manuals would be so much cooler
(EM[mMF]) if they had porn in them
(EM[mMF]) like “Basics of the Bash Shell”
(EM[mMF]) (LESBIAN PORN)
(EM[mMF]) i’d read that shit

#70 +(96)- [X]
* XS slaps the crap out of someone with a larger than ordinary,
non-standard, frames compatible, Microsoft trout.

#92 +(154)- [X]
(Xavier) if it has ‘teen’ in the channel name, the collective iq of the
group can automatically be assumed to be a negative value

#236 +(368)- [X]
(FyNXeR) Pardon my spelling… but I’m from Sweden
(sumbody) pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
(DrMonkey) pardon my shotgun, i’m from west virginia

#241 +(211)- [X]
(SWM) if the average penis is 6″
(SWM) and the average pussy is 8″ deep that means there”s about 2 miles
of unused pussy in New York

#362 +(40)- [X]
(inof) God used fork() to create Eve.

#409 +(1334)- [X]
(DaZE) at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show
everyone… and he said “if i dont get all three of these back this
schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find
it..” and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see ’em and they
got passed back the cop had 4

#952 +(239)- [X]
(Mutiny) Atarax: you ate a americum disk from a smoke detector?
(Atarax) Mutiny: yeah
(Mutiny) Atarax: why?
(Atarax) Mutiny: I thought it would give me special powers.
(Mutiny) Atarax: what did it do to you?
(Atarax) Mutiny: well, it didn’t give me any special powers, but it
didn’t kill me either
(Atarax) Darwin must be spinning in his grave
(Atarax) “why is that fuck still alive”

#5598 +(1328)- [X]
(Kazz) Do vampires have anuses? Cause that’s why I wouldn’t let this kid
invade a vampire’s anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his
character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the
anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don’t have
anuses.
(Zaratustra) a vampire’s anus is present, but non-working.
(Zaratustra) like a network card without the appropriate driver.
(Kazz) Wow. You’re the biggest dork on Earth.
(Sharkey) And you’re DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

#5523 +(1021)- [X]
(Opcode) i was gonna call 911…but i was downloading a file

#6562 +(989)- [X]
(skrike) I think the people above me are having sex
(skrike) either that or they’re sleeping restlessly and agreeing with
each other a lot.

#5273 +(3510)- [X]
(erno) hm. I’ve lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping,
it works completely, I just can’t figure out where in my apartment it
is.

Also, for the bling bling in the audience, you may need this pdf.

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer
tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the
animal was old, and the well needed to be covered
up anyway, it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the
donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over
and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and
cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement, he
quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer
looked down the well, and was astonished at what
he saw.

As every shovel of dirt hit his back, the donkey did
something amazing. He would shake it off and take
a step up. As the farmer’s neighbors continued to
shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was
amazed, as the donkey stepped up! over ! the edge of
the well and trotted off.

The Moral:

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off
and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping
stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by
not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take
a step up!

The donkey later came back, caught the farmer out in the field and kicked the shit out of him. Then he went over to each of his neighbors farms and kicked the shit out
of them too for helping.

The REAL Moral:

When you try to cover your ass, it always comes
back to get you.