ken forwarded this…pretty damn good

For those that don’t know IRC… Perhaps you aren’t missing much, below
are actual conversations.


(teefers) im khaleds rat
(teefers) he pays me $20 an hour to log anything anyone says about him
on undernet
(teefers) then i send it to him
(teefers) and he winnukes people
(vulture_) teefers: then log this: Khaled, your programming ineptitude
must be the envy of every Microsoft programmer. not to mention, I hate
you.
* teefers sends that shit to khaled and watches alex get winnuked h0 h0
h0
* vulture_ nearly injures himself watching tcpdump output…
(vulture_) 😛
(Untitled2) ha!
(Untitled2) I wish I were leet enough to interpret tcpdump raw output
real time
(vulture_) ever consider filtering it so you don’t have to?
(vulture_) 😛
(Untitled2) what would the fun in that be
(vulture_) being able to laugh at someone’s winnuke attempts?
(Untitled2) There’s an idea
(Untitled2) and have it log to syslog “silly nuke attempt from x.x.x.x
(vulture_) “initiating automatic retaliatory smurf…”

#98459 +(-9)- [X]
(DiscoFever) bah, twas the night befor christmas and all through the
house
(DiscoFever) not a creature was stiring
(+cow) not even a mouse?
(DiscoFever) except for cow because he was a fucking jew and didn’t
believe in christmas

#98450 +(589)- [X]
Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their
backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

#98447 +(175)- [X]
(Diamond) But what’s truly awesome is my new Radeon 9500 Pro.
(tidalblaze) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(Diamond) That I will treat as if it were my first-born child.
(tidalblaze) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(Diamond) …Apparently when I have kids I’m going to stick them inside
a small aluminum box.
(Diamond) And have them process numbers for me all day.
(Diamond) So I can watch porn.

#30 +(254)- [X]
(pezmasta) my band is gonna be called: rage against the answering
machine

#31 +(226)- [X]
(EM[mMF]) man
(EM[mMF]) unix manuals would be so much cooler
(EM[mMF]) if they had porn in them
(EM[mMF]) like “Basics of the Bash Shell”
(EM[mMF]) (LESBIAN PORN)
(EM[mMF]) i’d read that shit

#70 +(96)- [X]
* XS slaps the crap out of someone with a larger than ordinary,
non-standard, frames compatible, Microsoft trout.

#92 +(154)- [X]
(Xavier) if it has ‘teen’ in the channel name, the collective iq of the
group can automatically be assumed to be a negative value

#236 +(368)- [X]
(FyNXeR) Pardon my spelling… but I’m from Sweden
(sumbody) pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
(DrMonkey) pardon my shotgun, i’m from west virginia

#241 +(211)- [X]
(SWM) if the average penis is 6″
(SWM) and the average pussy is 8″ deep that means there”s about 2 miles
of unused pussy in New York

#362 +(40)- [X]
(inof) God used fork() to create Eve.

#409 +(1334)- [X]
(DaZE) at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show
everyone… and he said “if i dont get all three of these back this
schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find
it..” and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see ’em and they
got passed back the cop had 4

#952 +(239)- [X]
(Mutiny) Atarax: you ate a americum disk from a smoke detector?
(Atarax) Mutiny: yeah
(Mutiny) Atarax: why?
(Atarax) Mutiny: I thought it would give me special powers.
(Mutiny) Atarax: what did it do to you?
(Atarax) Mutiny: well, it didn’t give me any special powers, but it
didn’t kill me either
(Atarax) Darwin must be spinning in his grave
(Atarax) “why is that fuck still alive”

#5598 +(1328)- [X]
(Kazz) Do vampires have anuses? Cause that’s why I wouldn’t let this kid
invade a vampire’s anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his
character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the
anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don’t have
anuses.
(Zaratustra) a vampire’s anus is present, but non-working.
(Zaratustra) like a network card without the appropriate driver.
(Kazz) Wow. You’re the biggest dork on Earth.
(Sharkey) And you’re DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

#5523 +(1021)- [X]
(Opcode) i was gonna call 911…but i was downloading a file

#6562 +(989)- [X]
(skrike) I think the people above me are having sex
(skrike) either that or they’re sleeping restlessly and agreeing with
each other a lot.

#5273 +(3510)- [X]
(erno) hm. I’ve lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping,
it works completely, I just can’t figure out where in my apartment it
is.

Also, for the bling bling in the audience, you may need this pdf.

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