I’ll be remembering to avoid Toledo – if i never go there, then i can be IMMORTAL
Day: August 13, 2003
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings & seminars? What about those
long & boring conference calls? Here’s a way to change all that:
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,
prepare for the meeting by drawing a square — 5″X5″ is a good size.
2. Divide the square into columns — five across and five down. That
will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
3. In each block, write one of the following words/phrases:
synergy
strategic fit
core competencies
best practice
bottom line
revisit
take that off-line
24/7
out of the loop
benchmark
value added
proactive
win-win
think outside the box
fast track
result-driven
empower(ment)
knowledge base
at the end of the day
touch base
mindset
client focus(ed)
ballpark
game plan
leverage
4. Whenever you hear any one of those words/phrases, check off the
appropriate block.
5. When you get! five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,
stand up and shout “BULLSHIT!”
Testimonials from satisfied “Bullshit Bingo” players:
“I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won.” –Jack
W., Boston.
“My attention span at meetings has improved drastically.” –David D.,
Miami
“What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first
win.” –Sue S., NYC
“The atmosphere was tense in our last process meeting as 14 of us
waited for the fifth box.” — Joseph R., St.Louis
“The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed BULLSHIT! for the
third time in two hours.” — Kathleen L., Atlanta
Your name here – Caracarn
From here
Literal meaning
“Satan.”
History
Found in limestone deposits in Chester around 11am, the name Caracarn was originally used chiefly to refer to nuns and the violators of nuns, before taking a bullet for the Pope.
Famous Caracarns
1. Caracarn W Macaulay-Endeavour (“The Blue”), co-writer of INDIANA JONES AND THE LEAGUE OF SILENT EXPLODERS;
2. Caracarn Nivea, BSc, early user of the world’s seventh highest-rated episode of Mr Pastry;
3. Caracarn ap Tinkermouse, channeller under supernatural influences of eight entirely new ways to kneel;
4. Caracarn Itching-Nootlooter, who could never shake an early association with edible bark;
5. Caracarn Happenstance, belittler of the world’s sturdiest box; first holder of the fairly secret office of Gross Miscarriager of Justice;
6. “Terrible” Caracarn Staplegun-Cangoose, BA, proponent of the self-propelled gardener;
7. Caracarn C X K de la Frewsy-Trabmaw, of the generation which fondly remembers several of the more violent gypsy curses;
8. Caracarn du Toot (“The Reasonably Broadly Educated”), champion of the deckchair-cum-hat;
9. Caracarn Frote, who lost a fortune on quiffs;
10. Caracarn I Tube, named in court as holding compromising material concerning a nice cup of tea.
Typical Caracarn motto
“Hahaha! That was funny.”
Worked after work until around 8:30, then got a ride home with my bro. Scarfed some bratwurst then ran over to the ther apartment to do round 2 of paint, and to try and get internet set up.
Sure enough, internet was a problem – I have to call back tomorrow. The painting went very well though. Hopefully only one more coat and things will look OK – then the white on all the trim and touch up.
Richelle’s mom gets here tomorrow. Tomorrow night I am going to make eggplant parm, and I am thinking maybe lamb for thursday, I dunno. Friday we should be out in the city – and I think we will play the weekend by ear.Monday night should be something relatively low key I guess, since Tuesday is a big blast bonanza.
I also considered maybe doing the Korean/Japanese place Thursday night, instead of cooking again. Especially since it looks like now I _won’t_ be able to take the day off, since I need to be around to interview UNIX replacements.
Bah says I.
We still need to get to home depot, return some stuff, pick up a new countertop, as well as the prefab peices for a wardrobe, some hardware for the kitchen cabinets, some sort of bathroom shelving unit, perhaps a reinforcement for my closet, some sorta tension rod/door solution for the kitchen pantry, and possibly a big roll of carpet. My mom said I could take her futon – so maybe we’ll just get a funky cover for it or something – I dunno.
Later today, I need to get flash remoting work, call about my stupid cable account, double check that we have a mover reservation, double check with my landlord that we will have a stove by the time we move in, and call back some folks at the side job to make sure everything is still working smoothly. I also need to follow up on the two sites I launced this week, and get a coherent plan togther for my next project before end-of-day.
Oh yeah, my side job is 16/40 hours into thier annual service contract, and we are only on the 13th day of coverage! Mayhaps they will see some extended billing =)
I posted a “to buy” list earlier – one of my stupid study partners, Mike (and my bloody resident hebrew translator since Rabbi Linder died) ran off to Cincinnati with a mess of my books in tow. I had to find out from his ex-g/f, who said he didn’t leave any forwarding info with anyoen, and pissed off a few people inthe process. So now I am left rebuying lots of my Hebrew sourcebooks.I wonder if I could get them all on CD or something? And I need to find a new Hebrew translator – I can’t go back to dictionary pecking.
I wish I could learn the bloody language without the mandatory theology.
My body wants sleep – my brain refuses to turn off.
Stupid brain.