Month: May 2004

totally exhausted, tons to do for upcoming trip.
i got a love note this morning though, that sorta makes it all better, somehow.


Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition Westchester County Dolls

Bedford Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstroms in the Westchester Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with “augmented” version.

Bronxville Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of Mercedes SUV or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, creditcard, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Midge the European Nanny and Private School Skipper. You won’t be able to afford any of them.

Croton Barbie: This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch- less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her “Willow”. She does not want or need a Ken doll,but if you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Dobbs Ferry Barbies: There are actually two models available. One is a duplicate of the Yorktown Barbie, and the other is a duplicate of the Croton model.

Mt. Vernon Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.

New Rochelle Barbie: There are two versions of this Barbie also. One is a replica of the Scarsdale Barbie…she represents one section of New Rochelle. The other Barbie is a replica of the Mt. Vernon Barbie who represents the other side.

Peekskill Barbie: This English-as-a-Second-Language Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby barbies’ in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three fingers on his left hand.

Rye Barbie: Available only in the Summer, nobody is quite sure if Rye exists throughout the rest of the year. She comes wearing a tennis outfit and with her own boat.

Scarsdale Barbie: This is the only Jewish Barbie in the collection. Comes with a lot of gaudy diamond and gold jewelry, wigs for every occasion, a BMW 7 series and a Bloomingdale’s credit card. Her husband Rabbi Ken is sold separately.

Tarrytown Barbie: This doll comes with a complimentary EZ Pass for her leased car, as well as a monthly pass for Metro-North.

Verplank Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and
get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

White Plains Barbie: This doll is quite a bargain as she comes not only with her own car, but with her own parking space too! The only problem is that the spot is a 3 mile walk from her $3,000/month studio apartment 4 miles from the train station.

Yonkers Barbie: This gum chewing, hairsprayed brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Elmwood Park Barbie’s house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see- through halter top. Comes with own Camaro Z28.

Yorktown Barbie: This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately.

*Green cards are not available for Peekskill Barbie or Ken*

In other news, had a great time last night. Ran amuk with , , , , , and . Others were in attendance, but they don’t have lj’s so you may or may not care. It was a boatload of fun though. Note to those who have not been: The Fat Black Pussycat has an extremely cool lounge (with an extremly stupid rule about eating in it), and great music. The service really blows though, be sure to bring a grapnel and steel wire if you want to get a drink or order some food. When you get the food, don’t expect it to be what you ordered.

When woke up this morning to get ready, we had no water! Apparetly the stret conduit broke sometime between midnight and 5:30. We had water restored by 8 though, so she is only moderately late, and it didn’t really affect me that much, except that I got to sleep an hour or two more than usual with the woman I love.

I want to see Shrek 2 mightily. As said:
“Reason #1 Why I am Going to See Shrek 2: Captain Hook in a Seedy Bar singing a Tom Waits song.”
Not my number one reason, but it sure as hell adds to my desire to get with the funny.

Hump day is past us – viva la weekend!

So when all was said and done, this is what the list of top movie roles came up with:

Some repeats in here, which is worth mentioning – I am going to make a website centered around this idea, it is in the works now.

Spock, “Star Trek: The Motion Picture”, “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan”
Aaron Stampler, Primal Fear
Adrea Spedding, Sherlock Holmes and the Spider Woman
Aileen Wuornos,Monster
Alexander de Large,A Clockwork Orange
Andy Dufrense,The Shawshank Redemption
Annie Savoy, Bull Durham
Ash, Evil Dead,Army of Darkness
Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird
Augustus Hill, “Oz”
Bess McNeil, Breaking the Waves
Blaster, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
Blondie, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Carl Spackler, Caddyshack
Chewbacca, Star Wars
Darth Vader, Star Wars
Death, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey
Derek Vinyard,American History X
Det. Sommerset, Seven
Don Corleone, The Godfather
Don Logan, Sexy Beast
Dorothy, “The Wizard of Oz”
Dr. John, Night of the Demon
Dracula,Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Eleanor of Aquitane, The Lion In Winter
Elizabeth I, Elizabeth
Forrest Gump,Forrest Gump
Francesco Dellamorte, Cemetary Man
Frida Kahlo, Frida
Frida Khalo, Frida
Godzilla, Godzilla
Godzilla, Numerous movies
Han Solo, Star Wars
Hannibal Lechtor, Silence of the Lambs
Hannibal Lecter, The Silence of the Lambs
Hannibal Lector,Silence of the Lambs
Harry Lime, The Third Man
Henry Gondorff, The Sting
Holly Golightly, Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones,Indiana Jones
Jack Torrence,The Shining
James Bond, Goldfinger
Jean Michel Basquiat, DOWNTOWN 81
John Crichton, “Farscape: Peachekeeper War” (not yet released)
John McClane, “Die Hard”
Johnny Hooker, The Sting
June Miller, Henry and June
Kaiser Soze,Verbal Kent, The Usual Suspects
Kazuo Kiriyama, Battle Royale
Kikuchiyo, Seven Samurai
Korben Dallas, “The Fifth Element”
Larry Talbot,Wolf Man, The Wolf Man
Lester Burnham,American Beauty
Mary Poppins, Mary Poppins
Master, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
Matilda, “Leon: The Professional”
Max Fischer, Rushmore
Maximus, Gladiator
Michaleen Flynn, The Quiet Man
Miss Gulch,The Wicked Witch of the West, Wizard of Oz
Mohandas K. Gandhi, Gandhi
Neo, “The Matrix”.
Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars (Epi IV, A New Hope)
Old Yellow, “Old Yeller”
Optimus Prime, “Transformers: The Movie”
PFC Hudson, Aliens
Predator, Predator
RP McMurphy, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Sadako, Ringu
Scott Carey, “The Incredible Shrinking Man”
Sgt. Barnes, Platoon
Taras Bulba, Taras Bulba
The Bride, Kill Bill
The Bride, Kill Bill
The Man With No Name, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
The Martians, Mars Attacks!
The Tramp, The Tramp
Tracy Samantha Lords, High Society
Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver
Travis, The Life & Times of Travis (Still in production)
Tyler Durden, Fight Club
Tyler Durden, Fight Club
Verbal Kint, The Usual Suspects
Will Kane, High Noon
Wolfgang Mozart, Amadeus

So, anyone have any thoughts on ranking order?


I should be at a party right now.
A good party, with people I know, trust, and value as friends. Hell, I even love some of them, I am not afraid to say it.

Instead, I am sitting at home, typing this, listening to the thunder, and watching the flashing of lightning out of the corner of my eyes. Richelle is in bed with a stomachache. I feel like she wanted me to go.

I have to go out to PA tomorrow for a funeral. It is the dad of a friend – a man I could call no better than an aquaintence. I met him a dozen and a half times over the past few years. His life and times impacted me in several significant ways. I am saddened by his loss, much more so than I thought I would, honestly.

He may not have been the most enlightened man, or the best man, but he was a decent man, and I will always remember him as such. His wit and laughter were forever sealed in my mind at his daughter’s wedding, when I had a good bout of joking and echoing laughter in the bathroom of what was probably the most elegant place I have ever been at a social event.

I found out about this yesterday. Since then, I have been obsessing over life, and mortality. The recent interest Richelle has sparked in the series “Dead Like Me” has helped, and hurt, in almost equal amounts.

I feel like I am a broken man, and have felt that way, in lesser or greater extents, for months. I feel disconnected from the most important element of my life, no matter what I try to do to make that connection as tangible as I know it can be, as it should be. I wonder if my trying mightn’t be the problem. I wonder if I mightn’t be the fucking problem. I feel like I am wasting time, yet, I cannot cite what I might be doing better, would that I were not doing what I am.

I’ve known too many people who died, I think. Longstanding affair, death and I have – in my family it is a matter of pilgrimage. In my life, it has become a happenstance of recurring misfortune. Minimum two per year over the last 15 years. Average of 3.13 per year, with the worst year being 6. Eleven suicides, which is 23.41% of the total. 47 threads yanked from the pattern around me.

So many wants and desires for the future, but tomorrow always seems to get here too early, right after today slipped away like a trout caught barehanded.

Fuck me for the melodrama, and for wasting your time if youa re reading still – I am seeing catharsis here, not value for the reader.

What fucking gives?

Roll thunder roll. I think I need a drink.

The rain has finally come, maybe now the thunder can let up a little.

::BOO WEEP BO WEEP BO WEEP::
BURGLARY! BURGLARY! BURGLARY!
YOU HAVE VIOLATED AN AREA PROTECTED BY A SECURITY SYSTEM – LEAVE IMMEDIATELY
::BOO WEEP BO WEEP BO WEEP::

Yeah, so imagine that at eardrum-splitting decibels, for anywhere from 10-20 minutes at a time, over three periods between 1am-4am this morning.

Now ask me how my day is going.

Lets hear it for the Model SS-3000.

Fuckers.

So the weekend was pretty packed.
Friday went out to dinner at Grammercy Tavern, which totally kicked ass. It was a very late night, but thuroughly worthwhile. I hoe chellez had as enjoyable and romantic a time as I did Saturday was some napping, followed by watching Van Helsing. The movie was just like The Mummy, entertaining, with moments of humor and cheese. I you go in expecting that, you walk out happy. Anything else, and all bets are off.

After the movie Sat we went to a bar to meet up with old coworker (and one of her current coworkers) at a bar named Kennedy’s midtown on the west side. accompanied on the movie outing, but split shortly after getting to the bar. It has been nice to see more of him this week.

Today chellez was super productive, and we got lots done. The apartment is in stellar shape, and she was takin pics of it for her mom. I have to get in gear and get all my shit at work battened down for my upcoming vacation(s).

In other news, I finally finished the montage video of the scavenger hunt we had for / b-days. You can d/l it here (props to for the hosting!), but it is hugemongus, and not Mac friendly. I am working on figuring out how to make it a lil more low-bandwidth intensive, but for now, I figure that spreading it around might facilitate it just as fast as me researching it. I highly suggest scoping a copy of the list we used for the hunt, so you will have some idea what the hell is going on in the montage.

Be patient when viewing, the montage is about 10 mins long, and my first return foray into the world of video editing since 2000. Overall, I condensed 30something video clips, and over 300 pics into something thematic (I hope).

Tomorrow is Monday. I feel like Garfield about now.

So i got linked this list today. it is supposedly “rather comprehensive”, yet clearly has a contemporary bias (Dr. evil is above Dr. Strangelove).

I do think there are some winners on the list, but i think the order is all ffed up. Granted, I am much more of a bibliophile than cinemaphile, but I see an opportunity here. I delineate strongly between films (those which are truly artistic in nature or effect) and movies (those which are there for entertainment purposes). There are a few who walk back and forth between the two, but most tend to fall one way or another for me by the end (a movie with artistic aspirations, or the other way around).

The point is, regardless of how you frame a piece of cinema, it can be populated with incredible characters (Norman Bates), or mediocre characters played by fantastic actors (Obi Wan Kenobi a la Alec Guinness). Genres are really not important here – the power of the character as they come to life through the film (and the actor) is what is key. Does the character you are nominating for your top 10 really live in your mind past your memories of the details of the film? That is my criteria for “greatness”.

What I propose is this: scope the list linked above, think about your movie going career, then fill your top 10 into the poll. I wonder if any characters will come up in common (ranking will be a separate issue) amongst those who participate? Remember, cinema has been around a long time, so there is a big body of work to play with, but. At the same time however, the question really only applies to movies you have seen, so if you are not a big “old” movie buff, then you may find yourself nominating Jesse Richmond from “Dude, Where’s my Car?” (and yes, i did have to IMDB that) over, say Professor Julius Kelp in the original “The Nutty Professor” (I think the roles are comparable in dramatic impact, neither will be on my list).

Lastly, link this around, and back up your picks in comments. I will have some future posts following up on this if it manages to get some input from the internetting public out there.

Happy Thursday.

Top 10 movie characters of cinematic history (entries should be Character Name, Film Name):

EDIT: I was collecting in a poll for people’s input ease, with intentions of reposting them all later when it came to rating things. If you wanan discuss now though, post them in a comment off the poll. Tx to chellez for de idear.

So I had 1002 emails when I got in to work today. I thought it was 102. I was wrong. Guess my email got ripped off the web and inserted into something’s payload.

Tired today. Was up late last night after work working on video – about 70% done i’d say.

Tonight, I have to do tech stuff after work – perhaps Wednesday i can see , since I haven’t seen him since he got up here ‘n shit.

Friday is b-day. I made lots of plans, some of which got fubared last night, but we seemed to have recovered well. She is as curious as a ‘coon in a logtrap about what she is getting, but has opted to be patient. I hope that doesn’t mean she is going to ransack the office tonight while I am working. I am psyched about my plans, I hope everything works out the way I want it to… Lord knows I have done enough plotting to the effect.


So, for those who don’t know (and most, who I suppose don’t care) my folks split up when i was ~ 13, but then got back together again when I was 20ish. Though they never got divorced formally, a good portion of the problem between my ‘rents was some of the people my mom was sleeping with. Specifically, she got into a hot and heavy with a professional aide my parents hired to deal with my sister (who is multiple handicapped).

Since my parents got back together, my mother has continued to talk to this aide gentleman (we will call him “Bob” for lack of a better name). Furthermore, she has given him the thumbs up to contact me with his technical woes (as I am tech guru to the entire extended clan what spawned me, which is almost a full time job sometimes, especially during virus season).

This guy is very intelligent (albeit very weird) – but he is also a Luddite. It makes technical calls hopelessly painful for phone support. He has dial up, so over-the-wire support is pretty much out too. He called last night because his machine (which has no virus prot) finally died on him – so me and my superman CD case are out to Queens to fix things up.

Now, I really kinda hate the guy. But, I have to be nice to him, otherwise he makes complaints to my mother, who causes chaos with not just me, but my relationship with my father, which I have worked very hard at building bridges in over the past few years. My dad’s take on things (even though he once physcailly threatened Bob with death) is that he has to live with my mother, and it is my responsibility as a good son to do what is going to keep her happy, even if it impinges on my (and his) sense of honor/what is right in the world.

So yeah, in short, I’m on a tech call from hell for a guy I don’t even like, who doesn’t have the cash to pay me for my work. The more I write about this, the less I want to go, but the more I know I have to. A few hours a year is a small penance to pay for my mother’s tranquility when it comes to the matter of her ex-lover.

It just churns my butter sour.

Oh, and if you haven’t already see it, scope this link from . I saw it long ago, and it was still worth the re-watch. For the fruit lovers in the audience, I appreciate your attachment to your world, but I think it is fucking hilarious to make fun of.

Today has been so busy – i started this post at 8:45.

I hope you all had a good day.

EDIT: This post is brought to you by:

Thanks Ken!

Great parody here of this children’s book. If you never read the book to a younger kid, you probably wouldn’t remember it, and therefore the parody is only sorta blah. If you read the original though, it is fucking hysterical.

thanks to of for the linkage.

The weekend was very pleasant.
Saturday was some light runnin around, some foolin with with City of Heroes, and some pre-cookin for yesterday. I made some spinach artichoke rolls, and some spicy sausage rolls. I made some really good beef fajita fixins for dinner, and decided last minute to make a quesadilla instead, but still had a fajita.

Yesterday was the / Birthday Blowout Scavenger Hunt Extravaganza. 20ish people (including ,,and ) descended on NYC for a couple hours of finding incredibly odd things (and performing odd deeds) in order to gain the honorific title of “most industriously weird”. I have all the participants’ footage of the event, and am working on a montage video which encapsulates the goodness. Hopefully by midweek, methinks. Gotta get some of the ol media tools out of the virtual basement though, lots of file formats to play with (140m of media, before I add in my music!). The best thing about the scavenger hunt? Everyone had a blast, and many points were counted, but none were ever tallied, so an official winner was never declared. It was just a super fun day.

I need more of them in my life, it was great hangin out with a crowd I really wish I saw more of.