Tips I’ve left and Shits I’ve Taken

I lost my pants this morning.
Losing something, in and of itself, is not a rare occurance in my life. I lose things all the time. However, I have never lost my own pants, in my own apartment before.
This would not be a huge issue except for two things:

1. My pants contained all the things I need to survive in the outside world.
2. I could not find my pants because I was still fucking drunk.

Now, #2 up there is what really scared me.

I’ve been a bad boy on many occasions. I’ve done stupid things a plenty. I have never come to work drunk. I’ve come in on vapors of the night before, or a little woozy from too much partying.

I have NEVER come to work blotto. If you knew how hard it is for me to type coherently, you’d be appalled.

I could not pass a breathalizer right now folks. In fact, the cop wouldn’t need to take the little machine out.

Why you ask?

Because THE FUCKING YANKEES DROPPED THE BALL!

Now I know what it is like to be a Boston fan. Since I know so many, I also know the next step to recovery…

GO ASTROS!

I hope that made it back alive from ‘s place last night. Things got a little blurry after the blood out tha ass situation. UPDATE: thought to check friends list, looks like the wombat made it back alive.

Anyway, everything is blurry from midtown to Harlem except for when I got on the 7 to head to GCT, and for when I stopped at the 24 hour liquor store near my place to buy a bottle of JD at drunk-o-clock.

Thats right kiddies, already inebriated on spiced rum, and stuffed to the gills with overpriced pizza that was missing a topping, our hero decided that the best way to wash away the woes of a shattered life and a hopeless baseball team was to drink alone.

I clocked out retired broke the bottle at ~6am.

I then realized it was 6am.

Hell-O reality. You cold fucking bitch.

My boss is out this week, so I HAVE to be at work.

Cold shower, hydrate, warm shower, clothes… NO PANTS.

It took me nearly 20 minutes to find them. I actually hung them in the closet. I never do that.

Last night, despite the loss, was a hoot. Hung out with ,, , and . Went to Brother Jimmy’s, which canceled white trash wednesdays because of the frickin game. Did some work on TOT, and then got some cliffs notes on life and everything after. I also learned that and i have probably crossed paths in a former life, and that I need to take pictures of my guitar so she will buy it. It just took me four five tries to spell guitar.

A good time was had by all, until we got to ‘s.

That was still a good time, it just definitely involved too much blood – virtual or otherwise.

I learned that I am, after all these years, still not bad at After Burner. I also learned that engineers from Ford can work for NASA promoting projects that will, ultimately, IMO doom our species. I was surrounded by RPI people last night. Very weird.

But yeah, big tip for the day, when you realize you really drunk, and there is no way you are going to sober up in time to clock in, fucking call in. This shit is just not fun.

AND I have a big meeting in an hour? Please empty carbs, do your duty!