Month: November 2004

a highball glass full of ice and ouzo is almost biolumnescent in the light of a computer monitor.
it looks like i have a glassfull of jellyfish guts.
anise jellyfish guts.

It seems that, despite the public outcry and criticism from civil liberty groups and Millionaire Mike, the MTA has put the bill proposing a ban on cameras in the city’s subways back on the board.

Ban looms for subway shutterbugs

BY PETE DONOHUE
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Transit officials are moving ahead with a planned ban on taking pictures, filming and videotaping in the subway system – saying it’s a necessary security measure in the post-9/11 world.
The proposed rule was published without fanfare last week in the State Register. The 45-day comment period in which people can voice their opinions by writing, E-mailing or calling the Transit Authority ends Jan. 10.

When the plan was first outlined, in May, it was roundly blasted as excessive by subway riders, transit advocates, civil libertarians and even Mayor Bloomberg.

Authorities considered a less expansive ban that would cover only sensitive locations, such as dispatchers’ towers and equipment rooms, and would allow tourists and subway buffs to continue taking photos in trains and stations.

But it was ultimately rejected.

“In this time of heightened security, we don’t want individuals documenting anything that could be used to harm riders,” TA spokesman Charles Seaton said yesterday.

The Metropolitan Transportation Authority board must approve the proposal. Violators would face fines of $25.

Train buff David-Paul Gerber, 36, of Brooklyn railed against the possible crackdown.

“Photographers are not terrorists,” Gerber said. “We are hobbyists. This tramples on the constitutional rights and freedoms of every New Yorker and every American.”

To let the MTA know you don’t agree with the ban you can visit the MTA Website at www.mtahq.org (they have an E-mail form at http://mta-nyc.custhelp.com/cgi-bin/mta_nyc.cfg/php/enduser/ask.php), send a letter to 347 Madison Ave, NY NY, 10017, or call its offices at (212) 878-7000

better skipped on the playlist.

damn but the blues can make you feel better through commiseration, but they can fucking drag you down off a high pretty easy too!

the documentation trek has begun!

it is odd looking at one’s list of deadlines in a 30-day view. it has been quite a number of years since i have done so.

how is everyone else’s tuesday going?

Happy Birthday .
I’m off radar for a while – need to ponderize some ponderizables.
Will recon with some tonight.
Will recon with others tamallie.

I hope no one gtes into any fistfights that are not their fault.

So, the holidays are coming up.

As many of you may know, I have a lot of books.

I am liquidating my life.

You got anyone on your xmas list who likes scifi-fantasy? Odd anthropology? RPG books? Great classics of literature? Obscure occult? Make ’em happy! I have entire series of books…get the whole thing at once for the price of one book.

Spanish harlem bargain books, by appointment. Buck a pop paperbacks, two dollar hardcovers. No questions asked. Everything must go. That is right, you heard it correctly, 1$ paperbacks, 2$ hardcovers! You gotta carry ’em. Bring your own shopping bag.

When the books are gone, bookshelves will also be available for cheap. There are 3x 12 foot struts and 4×6 foot struts. I believe there are about 30 shelves as well. It is a modular set, so you can buy a part, or the whole mess. Struts will sell for 12$, shelves for 3$. – some maybe going to

I will be taking pictures of and selling my monastery table as well, as soon as I can dig up a digicam towards this end. The table is a singular piece. It was hand-assembled by French monks, with a wrought-iron wood-capped base. The tabletop is latticed birch, and it is corner capped with wrought iron. Beautiful piece, probably the most expensive non-electronic item I ever purchased. Starting price is 1500$ (half the price I bought it for, at 50% markdown). I also have a starter acoustic guitar with built in amp hookup am I would be willing to part with at a pittance (, you technically have dibs on this, if you still want it). I’ll even throw in the stand for free.

I have a dell Dimension p3 733 w/ half a gig of ram, 64m nvidia video card, and a 40 gig HD – selling for 250$. It currently has Windows 2000 on it, but if you are not a geek, I will happily install any O/S you want, along with the latest Office suite, pro-bono. dog-eared to a friend’s family – i have another PC coming up to block soon though, which is dogeared to

I have a Cisco Catalyst 2800 that needs to go too – 100$.

Gonna cut the wardrobe in half, and I need to figure out what to do with my pew – I saved that piece, so I really don’t want to sell it or toss it. Maybe I will give it to my folks for safe keeping. Other sundry odds and ends will be figured out as time progresses.


She said: How you gonna like ’em, over medium or scrambled?
You say: Anyway’s the only way, be careful not to gamble
on a guy with a suitcase and a ticket gettin’ out of here
in a tired bus station, in an old pair of shoes
cause it ain’t nothin’ but an invitation to the blues

Had a nice weekend. Trip to CT was uneventful, save for trains being very packed, and me managing to lose my digital camera. It was nice to get away from my situation physically for a bit, and unplug with some damn good people. My old friend and her husband were wonderful hosts. We had dinner at a place called “Chuck’s Steakhouse” Friday night, where I had the first glass of port I have had in a good while. We laid out plans for the rest of the weekend, which largely involved big patches of nothing.

Never had no destination, could not get across.
You became my inspiration, oh but what a cost.
Cause every time I hear that melody, well, something breaks inside,
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining, is more than I can hide.

Saturday, I got up decently early intending to write, but ended up getting into one of many of the good conversations I had over the weekend. There were so many times I was unable to really come up with answers deserved – it was frustrating. About the time I was plotting on what to cook my hosts for dinner, Marley was getting a vet checkup with Richelle. He is aok – and got a full round of vaccinations, castigations, litigations, and, his nails clipped. He will be going to CT the first weekend in December. As much as this will simplify my life in some ways, and lessen my daily emotional lodestone weight, it feels like a very abrupt chapter break in my life – I have no idea where the plot goes from here.

And I admit that I ain’t no angel
I admit that I ain’t no saint
I’m selfish and I’m cruel but you’re blind
If I exorcise my devils
Well my angels may leave too
When they leave they’re so hard to find

I cooked some good food Saturday night, I made ravioli with alfredo sauce, sauteed spinach with garlic, and brown-sugared acorn squash. I had some decent white wine fo the price (cheap) and learned that Yellow Tail reserve is DEFINITELY worth the three bucks over the regular vintage. I also learned that Little Penguin is my new favorite Australian white for accompanying cheese, and cheese-based sauces. It is absolutely airy, with a very pleasant bouquet, and a lovely fruit-filled aftertaste.

Well I got a bad liver and broken heart, yeah,
I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
And I don’t have a drinking problem, ‘cept when I can’t get a drink
And I wish you’d a-known her, we were quite a pair,
She was sharp as a razor and soft as a prayer
So welcome to the continuing saga, she was my better half, and I was just a dog
And so here am I slumped, I’ve been chipped and I’ve been chumped on my stool

I may have a new job. I have taken steps towards a position offered to me as a Technology Coordinator for the Membership Services Department at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I have the job all in word, it is simply a matter of budgets being approved for the position to go my way. I should know by Thanksgiving – if I do not, it will be the week after. I have not decided what, if anything, I will do if I DO get the job. There are a great many possibilities to consider, sometimes so many that I feel like my lens can’t possibly keep them all in focus. If this position does not happen, it is very likely I will not be in New York in a year.

My lease is up in March, and I have no idea what logistical loopholes I am going to have to squirm through to keep this place, given the change in roommate situations, and the steps I had to take to secure the lease in the first place. The idea of trying to scale that hill right now leaves me bone-weary mentally. I may go sojourn. I may go back to school. I may renounce my citizenship in a flight of fancy. I may just keep on doing what I am doing for another year so I am not cutting lose with so many ragged wounds sapping at me, emotionally and financially. I may return to a thread in my life I had abandoned. I may join Greenpeace. I may sign on as a North Atlantic fisherman.

I have taken some steps towards trying to get my driver’s license back. That would be a good thing, I think, no matter what ends up happening.

Hey little bird, fly away home
your house is on fire; your children are alone
Hey little bird, fly away home
your house is on fire; your children are alone

I have almost given up on Nano – I am almost 3/4 of the month gone, and less than 12k words. I am frustrated, sullen, and not looking forward to the holidays, and the roller coaster of memory and emotional stress they create in me. I need to hit the lotto, like that dumb ass car parker who won 150mil this weekend. Then I can clean my slate responsibly, and pick a path without constantly being reminded of the fetters of obligation my choices have forged for me over the years.

I hate worrying about money – I hate thinking about it all the time.

Could stay here all night,
they claim your outta sight
please get up and turn out the light
There ain’t nothing better than the middle of the night

I have approached a plateau in my creative absorption it seems. I read three books this weekend, and not nearly enough spark remains of what I digested of them to fuel my answering the questions they brought up. I cannot listen to any genre of music for more than two songs in a row. It is maddening. It used to be artists, now it is genre. I feel like some sort of patchwork quilt of inspiration – no pattern, just slapdash scraps and mismatched threads. Tom Waits, once again, has become the only thing I CAN listen to for more than one song, and I don’t like doing it. As much as I love him, his words offer no comfort lots of the time.

I realized during a conversation on Friday that I have now spent more than half my life at some form of labor or another, year round. That statistic, I fear, is not going to grow any cheerier with time. I am not old, but I feel it. I feel like a worn out shoe – bought new but walked hard, then abandoned by some interstate roadside for three seasons before becoming a nest for mice, or an artificial pot for a newly sprouting shoot of some sort. Years of being the responsible one? Getting old – when do I get to bugger off at everyone’s expense and have my life bounce back?

Maybe it is just my homeward commute talking – I had a rough one, due to shitty planning on my part. Next time, I check all the schedules before leaving the goddamn house.

The fog’s liftin’
And the sand’s shiftin’
and I’m driftin’ on out
And Ol’ Captain Ahab
He ain’t got nothin’ on me.
So come on and swallow me, don’t follow me
I’m trav’lin’ alone
Blue water’s my daughter
‘n I’m gonna skip like a stone



more giant mutant chickens taking up sidewalk space


and they will not coddle or be friendly. they will seek retribution for years of “chicken fingers” on kids’ menus.


there will be more super intelligent spider crabs trapped in captivity.


there will be more blue monkey mind control devices.

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial “9” to get an outside line.

8. You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o’clock news.

11. Your boss doesn’t have the ability to do your job.

12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.

14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and turn around to go and get it.

15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 🙂

17. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list.

thanks to for setting off a slow sizzle of inspiration.
the role playing genre is sad and tired in a lot of ways. i’m sure i don’t need to tutor the geeky among you in the ways of role-playing expansions dealing with sex. what i am thinking is half laser tag, half rpg. you establish a profile, linked to your real traits. the profile gets stored in a wireless-enabled device. whenever someone is in “range” of you, they can get “pings” of your persuasion and rating – if you see someone acting “out of character” you can hit them up with a penalty. friendster meets laser tag meets basic rpg mechanics.

i’m thinking “role-bender” or “dating and drag queens”?


A snippet after a brief discussion concerning the propensities which many monkeys show towards the flinging of poo:

[22:30] me: POOPFLINGERS
[22:30] me: AHAHAHAHA
[22:30] me: that
[22:30] me: is a xmas boutique gift item
[22:30] me: right there
[22:30] me: a turdbuchet
[22:31] : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
[22:31] : *breahte*
[22:31] : fuck
[22:31] me: i’m tellin ya
[22:33] me: http://www.mangonel.com/mini/
[22:33] me: right there
[22:33] me: repackage it
[22:33] me: and slap a “poop not included” label on it
[22:33] : bwahahahah
[22:34] me: i’m telling you
[22:34] me: this could work!
[22:34] : could!
[22:34] me: like those little rubber band guns
[22:34] me: with shit, instead of rubber bands
[22:34] : yup
[22:34] me: no chance of taking an eye out
[22:35] : lol
[22:35] me: unless your poop source is eating a lot of corn
[22:35] : dude
[22:35] : just
[22:35] : dude
[22:35] me: and
[22:35] me: this has an upwards market
[22:35] me: like, playskool? 9-99
[22:35] : hehehehehe
[22:35] me: poop flinger: gerbil to shetland pony
[22:36] me: i bet the k9-rangesmearer with be the best seller
[22:36] me: but the feline-fecaltosser may be a strong urban contender
[22:37] : I don’t have words
[22:37] : I don’t
[22:37] me: i hope that is a good thing
[22:37] : You win tonight man
[22:37] : I can not hope to compete with this


To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium”. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour’, skipping the letter ‘U’ is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter ‘Z’ (pronounced ‘zed’ not ‘zee’) and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise”. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh is pronounced ‘burra’ e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary”. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up “interspersed”. There will be no more ‘bleeps’ in the Jerry Springer show. If you’re not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn’t have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won’t have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as “US English”. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstatedletter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize”.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents – Scottish dramas such as “Taggart”will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we’re talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is “Devon”. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become “shires” e.g. Texasshire,Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as “Men Behaving Badly” or “Red Dwarf”will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can’t cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American “football”. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American “football” is not a very good game.The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays “American” football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby(which is similar to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the ‘World Series’ for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls’ game called “rounders” which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. “Merde” is French for “Shit”. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don’t believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called “Indecisive Day”.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren’t even French, they are Belgian though 97.85%of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps”. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled fortea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer”, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager”. The substances formerly known as “American Beer” will henceforth be referred to as “Near-Frozen Knat’s Urine”, with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as “Weak Near-Frozen Knat’s Urine”. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or “Gasoline” as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $7/US gallon- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation.

sometimes morning seems miles away from where you want to be;
sometimes it is the only thing between you and the black wall of dreams.
sometimes morning brings breakfast, steam, and smiles;
sometimes it brings shivers, solitude, and denial.
sometimes it brings rude awakenings, hung over your guts, eyes, and ears;
sometimes morning brings a workday, other times a pleasant reason not to bolt out of bed.

until that one time, when morning doesn’t bring anything…
when sunlit beam or drizzly sky,
autumn’s howl or winter’s blast,
are no longer consequential…
only what you were doing, wearing, and who will remember

who says the sunrise
has no power?
apollo rules over morpheus,
and chances diana’s bow away.

i have basked in that fire too many times
to not respect it,
to not revere it.

every time i see
the still dawn light birth break of day,

it could be my last.

it is snowing. that rules.
EDIT: not in the city – effing islands.
also – the dog just poeed on my carpet. he is not in my good book right now.

Ask more, if you wanna know more.
no names, to protect the wicked curious

Describe to me your ideal woman.
Toughie. I don’t have “a type”, nor do I have a particular “look” I go for. I have physical _prefrences_ but i don’t put those above the package deal, so to speak. Attraction is only one part physical, and that part always fades with time. I need to be with someone who laughs, someone smart, and someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. I need to be with someone who can be honest with me, thick or thin.

Are you straight? Gay? Bi?
Bi curious? I dunno, I tend to skip labels on sexuality, as I think they are more an artificial construct than a reality. I think everyone is a sexual being. I’ve had experiences on the +/+ combo,and they were not fun, mostly because they were not of my choosing. While I don’t know that the hardware is quite wired that way (for a lot of reasons), I can definteily see getting into an intimate relationship with a guy emotionally, but it would have to be a pretty fucking picturesque situation in a lot of other courts for that to be a possibility.

But the whole not liking dicks thing – yeah, I guess that makes me more straight than not, but there are definitely some beautiful guys out there.

Make my life simpler. What do you want for giftmas. Don’t tell me “nothing”, either.
Peace on Earth and Good Will Towards Men. (And no, you don’t work for the US gov’t, so you can’t say you don’t do that sort of thing)

How serious of a writer are you?
What a fucking toughie that is. Lots of ways to take this one. Am I serious when I write? Yes. Do I want to be “a writer”? Yes, with a but. I love words, their beauty of nuance, their multiplicity of being. Personally though, I would have rather been the guy who held the talking stick and told stories in the dark of night to keep people captivated. I love the POWER of words, and, to that end, I try to be a wordsmith when I am attempting to give birth to a story inside me for others to partake in.

As a way to pay the bills? THat kinda writer? I dunno, probably not that serious. As a storyteller? Deadly serious.

what is your single greatest fear?
Going blind. That is probably the only condition under which I would off myself. Maybe.

what is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about you to you?
Someone once told me “You saved my life with those damn insight defibulators you always carry around.” I am no savant. I am no genius. I do try to challenge people around me, often, on lots of levels. Part of that is prying under the hood sometimes. I guess the fact that I did that, and walked away having made a change in someone for the better, in a marked, firsthand realization made me feel pretty damn good.

If you had one skill in which you were the best at in the world, or one of the best, what would it be and why?
Hmm.
I would want to be the best at the esoteric talent of “being able to use the powers of my mind like a Jedi”.

Seriously? I wish I were a good musician. I am a passable vocalist, but I do not have the inspiration for instruments. I have the capacity for music, but the creative spark which infuses so much of my life doesn’t extend to that part of my psyche. That is why I listen to so much music, remix other people’s music, and love love love the enduring pieces that have walked across time with us. I mean, you can say what you want about great writers, thinkers, warriors – the guy or gal who came up with the notes to “row row row your boat” is way more immortal than any of us will ever be. and in a good way. the way you are supposed to be immortal.

but yeah, powers of the mind.

not naming any names, so anyone might know this stuff,

go ask more, if you want, or, y’know, ask, if you haven’t.

I am 6’3″.

I am old enough to remember the electric company, dana scully’s first incarnation on “math man” shorts, and the muppet show being on tv. i am also young enough to have only been able to see two of the star wars on the silver screen (first time around).

What I would consider to be my biggest childhood trauma is something I don’t talk about. Really, I don’t. Less than one hand knows, and none of it family. You wanna follow up? Ask me in person.

I do not have a favorite color. I tend towards reds and black, but have sudden swings into indigo, emerald, and saffron.

On average, I masturbate .0000178 times a week, considering i gave it a shot once, (literally and figuratively) then decided that it was not to my taste. sex, to me, is like food. masturbation? it’s like muchos. not really food, not really plastic.

not really worth my time.

so, i have a big family.
stop me if you’ve heard this one…
no, i really do have a big family. my father’s family is catholic – he is one of seven. each of my paternal grandparents – one of double digits. each of these people who has gotten married? many childrens. thanks for making condoms a sin. my paternal genetic background is a monty python skit.

when still based in ohio, many of my father’s cousins (both my marriage and by blood) intermarried with another sprawling clan in the flat parts of the swing state we all love so.

this created a mass of catholics not to be messed with (since most of them weigh in at 6’1″, 200lbs min).

over the years, this mass has gotten cancer, spawned more children, gotten in fatal dwis, gotten married, gotten divorced, gone through AA, gone through detox, gone through the fucking wringer.

when there was a reunion in 2000, it was in chicago, so the whole clan could gather centrally. there were over 2000 people in attendance.

2000+. people. there are towns in this country smaller than that.

4 generations

blood and marriage

we rented a park. a city park. not a small one either, it had a lake.

not a pond.

a lake.

they had to bring in port-a-johns.

we had tshirts made up so you could tell, by the color of your shirt, who you were related to and how.

so, i have this one “great uncle” – john. he has lived three lives (he is in his 80’s) and been married twice. he had three kids by his first wife, and two by his second. his wife is now in her 60’s. john has alzheimers – he called me to tell me about the apollo moon landing, in detail, once.

then he called me in the middle of july another time to wish me a happy birthday.

anyhow, john is loopy, but not bad loopy, and certainly not catatonic loopy. his wife had a stroke 2 years ago, and us unable to move around without some heavy mechanical assistance. his youngest daughter from his first marriage, katherine, lived with these two, in the rolling hills of western ohio.

they owned a winter home in northwestern florida. kathy was care taking it and prepping it for the migration down there.

she was, for the record, quite an alcoholic.

so she was found dead of alcohol poisoning early this morning.

as i have discussed in previous posts, i have a fair aquaintence with death.

well, it is the civic duty, in catholic families of this size anyway, that there be representation from every branch of the tree when someone dies, gets hitched, or is born. i think it has something to do with the whole seven sacraments thing, but got mixed up along the way.

anyhow, it was my pleasure this evening to evade the responsibility of being a representative with my father of my limb on the tree. he is on his way to oho now, picking up an uncle en-route.

he has been priming me, for years, to be his second, when he finally gets too old/tired to make these journeys.

it is a mantle i am loathe to assume. it is, i am sad to say, one i am good at though.

i wonder if there is any money in being a funeral planner. not a mortician, or a funeral director – just someone who plans funerals. y’know, kinda like a wedding planner, with more flowers, and less colors to work with.

as Ice Cube once said – “fuck dyin”.

The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don’t know about you. I am screening comments in case people don’t want to/can’t take the poll, and wanna ask anyhow – your privacy will be maintained.

Everytime that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face gettin’ clearer
The past is gone
It went by like **dusk** to dawn
Isn’t that the way
Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay

I know what nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it’s everybody’s sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life is in books’ written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know it’s true
All the things you do, come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laugh and sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it’s just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

Dream On, Dream On, Dream On,
Dream until your dream come true

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laugh and sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it’s just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

So, yeah, last night was my first 100% non-productive evening in many moons. It also represents my first online time warp in many moons. I puttered around with the open beta for Worlds of Warcraft. Can I just say, WOW – this is everything I ever wanted out of an online RPG, with the exception of the legacy factor. Trust Blizzard to do it right. I also managed to forget to eat dinner, walked the dog to 110th street and back, and did momentous things like “sorting the laundry” and “starting to re-ghost my server”.

Funnily enough, I picked a random server, faction, and class, and managed to run into and his brother within an hour of getting myself set up. Small world, even online, with a couple hundred thousand people.
Avoid One Thing – Armbands And Braids
All in all, I did jack shit that was productive. Why in hell am I so tired then?

A snippet from the best conversation I’ve had today so far:
“we could sell them in three sizes: “frankincense”, “myrrh” and “gold””

Yep, I’ll make sure to bogart the good seats in hell when I get there, no worries folks.

In other news, I am about 3000 words into nano, and too damned lazy atm to update the doodad.

Monday managed not to skirt into Wednesday so far. I take it as a good sign =).

i believed you were supposed to vacate the premises around midnight. what the fuck are you still doing here?
note to all, make sure that you don’t use mouse gestures if you want to update firefox, cuz the new version? seems incompatible with every plug in i’ve found so far. that is, of course, when mozilla’s update site is bloody accessible.

OMG WTF everyone needs one. In fact, I might just give this to everyone as a universal xmas present. Thank you Jeff Rowland, for making my holiday shopping so simple.

I have about another 2000 words of Nano done, on floppy, and not uploaded, so I won’t upload my counter again.

I think I am working about every goddamn day this week.

I have decided that anyone who can afford to apply to medical school should be shot if they try to scam the school, which strictly says “NO REFUNDS ON ANY APPLICATION FEES” by contesting the charges with their CC company.

Scope out ‘s mad foosball skilz here, really, it is worth the d/l. He is my new “sports” hero.

I heard rumors about a thing on Wednesday, possibly involving copious amounts of seared meat? Anyone? Anyone? (Bro Jimmy’s White Trash Wednesdays?)

I’m off to the mothership for now – catch everyone when the fucking moon comes back around again.

they are super-gay, i would have loved to have been a member of the brown derbies – secretly of course.
i guess i woulda had to go to the right school too.
i know so many people who were into accapella – i prolly coulda done it, if i coulda swallowed my pride.

Toshiba Wireless Mini PIC cards (802.11 b clones) are fucking impossible to configure.
I have genned an entire lan in the time it took me to get a fuggin laptop online.

Don’t hate the hardware, hate the OEM.

On my way back from lunch today, walking with an unnamed rosy thunder lizard, I was blabbing about life. The park is in it’s last week of color, and for the first time, I caught the scent of dead leaves on the air. I love autumn next to as much as I love winter.

Anyway, one of the things I was flapping about was irony, and how, despite the fact that I am a fairly pessimistic, irascible sonofabitch, I somehow tend to entertain people, and/or cheer them up. My walking partner in particular.

To this, I was told:
“Well, sometimes it just makes me feel better knowing my life isn’t as bad as yours is.”

This struck me as funny. Partially because, well, honestly, my life isn’t so bad, partially because, it is true. I bitch a lot sometimes, but I haven’t totally lost big picture status.

I think maybe part of my problem, sometimes, is getting to overwhelmed by big picture status. I just gotta keep on keepin on, I will break surface again eventually.

Must write, must write,must write,must write,must write….

sorry if i disappeared on people – i feel like death is stalking me of late, and i don’t have the time or the patience to cover my tracks, so i am just not making any.

i am feeling the need for change – all i want to do is bury myself under some words, and it looks like i will not have the time have to fucking fight tooth and nail to do so.

i wish chaos were not the predominant flavor of my little ice cream shoppe at the moment.

work all week this week after work. hypertension be damned.

must sleep, or clowns will eat me.

blessed be my brother, ‘s coworker, , , and some randomly hired hoodlums for helping to get moved in. he has too much stuff.

today has been a peach of a monday.

in other news, i will be moving to canada, marrying , becoming her houseboy until my citizenship is formally renounced, and becoming a crazy canukian chef in the case that chimp in chief is re-elected tomorrow.