i got my laundry, dropped of and picked up dry cleaning and went grocery shopping. stocked up for the week, but also picked up some fresh liver. i got home and unpacked all the shit, and managed to hit the fucking golden ratio of liver/onions/bacon. the deglazed sauce had the perfect amount of white wine in it too, which I am not heartily enjoying with a little bit of garlic bread.
must be the snow.
the snows have come
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this is pretty goddamned funny.
my personal fav:
A hundred houses shall he have, in every house a hundred rooms and in every room twenty beds, and a delirious fever should drive him from bed to bed.
i have just spent the last 45 minutes listening to oscar recaps.
please end it!
i didn’t have much luck repairing xboxes yesterday, but i learned a LOT about them. it is something that is going to get some further research and applied geekiness to. i also showed one of my friends beat the devil. if you haven’t already scoped them out, you should definitely download and watch them BMW films.
last night was something else. i’ve been talking for months about trying to recapture that “in the moment” mindset, but yesterday evening was the first night i was able to catch a tail feather of it in all that time i have been trying. there was wonderful food in abundance – corned beef, chicken casserole, bangers and mash, potatoes, cabbage. i had my dinner with a guiness, but after that (as my post yesterday suggests) it was all whiskey. i danced for almost 30 minutes with a gorgeous black woman named simone, and then danced a jig with her friend camile (who was a puerto rican irish)!
there was good cheer and whiskey and bagpipes. i made some joke to camile about rice and beans and potatoes which she thought was very funny, but i’ll be damned if i can remember it today.the bagpipes trilled and my blood answered. leave it to the irish to unmoor my soul a little – we drank them out of jamesons, then makers, then black. i lost count after 20, but i did down about a gallon of water before we made the trek back to manhattan. other people were still going when i departed.
there was also some serious gambling at this place last night. there was a 60-odd man poker tourney with a 300$ buyin. it came down to two people, and it stayed there for over an hour. the chips and cards were hard and fast, but at the end of the day a 5-9 diamond straight flush beat pocket aces. kinda crazy to see all those chips calculate out to greenbacks though – there were far more benjamans than yuppie food stamps. winner took home 4000, second place was 2000, and there was a 500$ for “best hand”.
at some point last night, i decided it would be a pleasant shenannigan to remove the plastic plate and map from the backseat of a taxi. i don’t know why this seemed a good idea at the time, but it did. i now have one authentic NYCT&L map of manhattan.
i’m heading up to my folks today so they can drag me through birthday crap. i am surprisingly up. i’ve been awake almost two hours already, and crashed out at around 4.
i wrote all this out on the train this morning, but in my arrogance, decided that typing into a web form was ok. notepad and copy paste from now on. technology can be so stupid sometimes.
you are the nectar of the devil’s teat. but after 11 and bagpipes… you are my best friend.
I give you the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins – I promise it is so bad you won’t make it to the end.
if you were at all entertained by the little conversational snippet posted earlier today, join
Based on the lj interests lists of those who share my more unusual interests, the interests suggestion meme thinks I might be interested in
1. blood score: 6
2. html score: 6
3. psychology score: 6
4. nature score: 5
5. swords score: 5
6. satanism score: 5
7. afi score: 5
8. girls score: 5
9. books score: 5
10. paganism score: 5
11. internet score: 5
12. a perfect circle score: 5
13. japan score: 5
14. rain score: 4
15. death score: 4
16. tool score: 4
17. black score: 4
18. singing score: 4
19. dreams score: 4
20. swimming score: 4
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Seems my gothy past is bubbling up from my friends list.
“Frank?”
“What man, you need a light?”
“No I was just wondering…”
“Jesus man, can’t we ever do a job, just once, without you getting all cerebral on me?”
“Cerebral? What the hell does that mean? That some sorta French word or something? Sounds like a cheese eating surrender monkey insult.”
“Cerebral means brainy, ya twat.”
“Oh, yeah, this is one of those questions.”
“Sweet shit. Hand me those pliers while you are over there.”
“O.K. Here.”
“Not those, the other ones.”
“Oh, here. Back to what I was just wondering, when is the precise moment of death?”
“Ugh, goddamn metric screwheads. Wait, WHAT?”
“When does life end? Is life, existance, a byproduct of the body’s functions, or is there an element of it just beyond physical reality? Is life tied to our bodies, but can occur with or without them?”
“Hold this. No,not there, THERE. O.K. So basically, you are asking me about souls Eddie?”
“No, not that church shit. I just want to know when we die.”
“Usually, that happens right after the heart stops doin it’s thing. Aw FUCK, this is a new shirt.”
“Here man, take my snotrag. It’s clean.”
“Thanks.”
“But what about brain death?”
“What about it?”
“After the heart stops beating, the brain continues to show signs of electromagnetic activity for as long as two months.”
“Man, I swear you ask this stuff to jerk me off. You see this? You know why we are taking apart?”
“Cuz it is jammed up?”
“Rigt you are. Give the man a cigar.
“Hey man, fuck off. What does this have to do with my question? “
“I’m getting to it! The chainsaw is clogged because when you use it to cut through a skull, if you don’t have enough RPMs, the scalp gets snagged, tears off, gets sucked down the chain, and clogs the intake up.”
“Ugh, that’s scalp? I woulda thought leg. “
“Yeah, here’s your hankie back.”
“Keep it.”
“Whatever. Look, my point is, there was no electromagnetic anything going on with this dillweed after we cracked his cranium like a casaba.”
“Right, because you destroyed the brain. You killed him.”
“Eddie, traditionally, would you say that I killed someone when I stuck an icepick through their ribs twenty seven times, or when I cut up thier body after it was in a meat locker for three days?”
“Yeah. Shit man, I never thought about it that way.”
“Damn straight bud. Go get the mop. I’m outta smokes. We’ll toss the chainsaw in with the rest, it is a lost cause.”
“Aw crap. So you get to buy smokes and I gotta mop? How does that work?”
“Cuz you ask the stupid questions Eddie. Need anything?”
“Nah man, I’m good. Word of advice? Lose the tie. Looks like you sat down too fast in front of a plate of spagetthi.”
“Mother FUCK! Between Home Depot and Barneys, it is a motherfucking wonder we have enough left to pay the rent at the end of the day.”
“Yeah, it’s rough business, death.”
the snow is the best thing i coulda gotten today. i love winter.
i hate being a pieces pisces sometimes (stupid spellcheck)
i have a 4 hour meeting this afternoon that someone else put me on TODAY.
i think i should quit my job and write a book on online calendar etiquitte – maybe i can become like a techy martha stewart or some shit.
i’m waiting to hear back on a writing submission, working a lot, and generally trying to get through the day-to-day.
so many options, so few seem realistic.
the world is like a huge rainforest flower. the petals are cunningly colored to draw you in towards the center, hidden just out of sight by the curve of the petal. a glorious scent wafts from the flower’s centre, promising all sorts of good things. once you have landed on the petal’s surface, you can’t take off again. horribly sticky. once you move down the petals towards the center of the flower, where polleny salvation surely lies, you find yourself unable to turn around and correct any errors in your path. by the time you realize that the sights, smells, and textures that got you into the flower in the first place were really just all an elaborate setup to dump you in a pool full of the corpses of your comerades before you, you are two steps from that pool. a pretty path to gradual digestion in the belly of the plant.
a belated bday to tim. tried to get ahold of you couple times…
my mp3 player is smothering me in sentimental music.
this morning is really beautiful. I am definitely going to miss winter when it departs.
busy week this week. hope you have a good’n if you don’t hear from me.
crashing at 7pm was a bad idea.
I swear it looks like the end of the world! Actually, it just looks like my cam doesn’t like direct sun shots.
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i’d say i am dog tired, but i don’t think dogs get this tired.
i just got nominated to be the new fire marshall for our office.
apparently, this concensus was reached because i am tall.
guess i should get my red cross cert re-activated.
i wrote an insightful, helpful, and pretty damn verbose synopsis of a business process i was exposed to at 4:30pm yesterday for the big boss yesterday. she told me so when she got the email on her blackberry at 6am today. it has to be presented at the monthly executive meeting this morning.
this would not be noteworthy if it had not been written at 11:49 pm. all i can say is that those years of cramming on other people’s papers while on sleep dep. clearly paid off.
i totally dropped the ball on a client meeting last night. why? because i forgot my phone. i really suck at life without my second brain.
more later, if i have the time.
I forgot my phone today.
I have decided to stop bitching about work. So I am tied to a cotton tree – it is not like anyone but myself put me here. I am, despite the effort involved, able to get two people’s shit done, and only make a few minor mistakes. Everyone here is happy with me, but not afraid at all to continue to add to and refine the mountain of responsibilities on my plate. It has been a testing period, and I am 2/3 of the way through it almost. They want to see how broad my shoulders are, and how much weight they can pile on before my spine snaps. I have proven my resilliance, but I will be dammned if I am going to break, or consider the load I am bearing as “normal”.
House-sitting this weekend, helping
In other news, the realty agency maintaining my apartment are total liars. When renewing my lease recently, I reviewed my terms before re-upping. They state clearly that they pay for heat and hot water. I have long suspected that I am paying for my own hot water (since, y’know, there is a hot water heater in my kitchen). I got the electric bill for last month and it was more than 100$ than it usually is. Only thing that chanegd last month? It got fuckin cold, so I turned on the radiators.
Hooray for electric heat. I was basically running three space heaters for a couple weeks there.
I got my first rejection letter from the seminary applications I submitted in December. I should take the GRE. Maybe I’ll just go back to school for something else part time, after I’ve been here a year.
Somethin’s gotta give.
If you send someone flowers – NOT being cheesy and asking them to “be yours”, but just saying “Happy Valentines” and adding a cute (not flirty) note, and they call you up, tell you that “you stink”, and that the flowers are beautiful, but tell you that “you shouldn’t have done it”, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
The website needs a PDF of the instruction manual, for fuck’s sake.
i put in a 12 hour day with my family today. i built two computers, voided three warantees, scored an SD card for my Treo (which I forgot at home today), and had homemade steak and fries.
i am tired.
i also learned that you CAN rewire an old pair of rabbit ear antennae to supplement a mysteriously missing 802.11g wireless card antenna.
so nerdy it hurts.
24 hour banking. Sorry Closed.
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i push myself to the limits of my endurance, in the hopes of getting a good block of sleep.
what i get is and addled mix of nightmare and rerun, a cat who decided that 1am was the time to make friends, and the perkilating beginnings of a migraine.
i may resort to drugs soon.
Now that is a Manhattan.
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Tom’s rhinoplasty UES.
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The heads of the met.
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Well time is always money
For the boys at Union Square
You can bust your ass till doomsday
But don’t forget to say your prayers
Someone’s got a wad on the backstreet.
My dad is going to have elective surgery to remove what they have found. The prognosis is such that this surgery will pre-empt any other problems. I am actively pushing for a full scan, as well as second opinion follow-up.
Sacco got a bran’ new slack
And your baby is handcuffed on the front seat
You just sit right there, boy and relax
My job is swallowing me whole. I feel like the fucking frog in that goddamned motivational poster that is choking the stork trying to eat it as it is being sucked down. I am jack’s amphibian Heimlich.
I’m goin’ down down down
I’m goin’ down down down
I’m goin’ down down down
I’m goin’ down down town
I am going out tonight, hell or high water. My entire week, aside from a small island, has pretty much been a pressure cooker. I need to vent some steam, otherwise things are going to end up looking a lot like that scene from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. You know the movie, those whiny fucks wrote a song about it. As an amusing aside, my mother, to this day, is terrified to use or be near a pressure cooker as a result of exposure to that movie.
Well they spill out of the Cinema 14
To that drag bar there on the block
Best live show by far in the whole east coast
With a bank rolled up in your sock
She stand right there for your pleasure
Half Puerto Rican Chinese
You got to find your baby somebody to measure
I’m goin’ to get me some of these baby.
I have been writing, or trying to. I have also played some Worlds of Warcraft. I am alternating between intense emotional release, and mindless repetitive competition to keep my sanity aloft. I have not been “cooking” but I have been cooking. My meals have been short, sweet, and simple. I made Fish and Chips last night that pretty decent. Red potatoes make good chips, FTR. I just wish my heart were in it more. Also, I have missed some IMS recently – that is not because I hate you, but rather because I left myself logged in to Trillian on my server.
I’m goin’ down down down
I’m goin’ down down down
I’m goin’ down down down
I’m goin’ down down town
I am not looking forward to Valentine’s day, at all. I’d give my eye teeth for this to be more of the oldschool pagan/military deadline it was, and less of a Hallmark-blitz that it is.
Four in the mornin’ on a Sunday
Sacco Drinkin’ whiskey in church
Half pint festival brandy
That boy ’bout to fall right off his perch
The guy in the sweaters off duty
Out in front of the welfare hotel
The guy in the dress is a beauty
Go all the way and I swear you never can tell
Guess who got the keys to the car at work? Finally. This post is made from Semagic. Lets hear it for USB key drives.
it only took until now to realize that this weekend coming is a 3-day!
my life is undertow atm – i am not writing to spare you, not because i am not reading.
hopefully, soon, i will post a story i am working on.
you all have my best, which, though it is not much to offer, is what i got.
happy saturday all.
2hc’s archenemy.
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the sound of one hand clapping is really just the noise your brain stem makes when it pulls the chute cord, leaving your upper nervous system plummeting like a grey fleshy stone.
My how the clover has grown. When does the luck the packaging promotes show up?
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It was too late to be drinking
Or too early not to.
I don’t quite remember,
Why I ended up there anyhow.
The memories are in there
But hiding, behind the barstools.
A Manhattan without a cherry
Is really just a Woodlawn.
Sweet vermouth, I love you so;
Why you hate me, I’ll never know.
Glasses with stems can never be highball,
No matter how hard they try.
There was heartbreak and hysteria
Football future telling politics;
The State of the Union and
The state of MLB, and NHL.
It allways came back to three options.
Regardless of those three:
A Manhattan without a cherry
Is really just a Woodlawn.
Sweet vermouth, I love you so,
Why you hate me, I’ll never know.
Bars were meant to be smoky inside;
It helps obscure drunkenness.
The jukebox was on random.
It played the soundtrack
To one of the circles of hell.
And there was a padded skeleton
In pink sequins, using her breasts
To pay her bartab.
And it was too late when I left
Or it was too early.
To late to be drinking,
Or too early not to.
Because a Manhattan without a cherry,
Is really just a Woodlawn.
A Woodlawn ’till dawn.
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what has two thumbs, and is working late?
later than his boss?
later than the whole @!#%!@#$%!$#% department?
guess.
i got blindsided by a software vendor today. they are very trixie. this is totally going to screw my theoretical upgrade machinations. also? teleconferences with other people whodon’t know how to use a speakerphone are very entertaining – especially when you have the power of the mute button.
in other news, the person who is my biggest management challenge (a good worker with long institutional memory, but who is very p/a, and not good at communicating) has applied for a position in another department. while this, in some ways, makes my long term responsibilities look easier, the short term rammifications are disastrous. this person is a true workhorse, and handles a fairly sizeable amount of our day-to-day business – she would not be replaced in a heartbeat.
it is very likely, given the situation, that she will be the top candidate for the position.
to paraphrase robin williams as pecos bill, i am already lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut. this person leaving in the next two weeks? the wagon rollin right over my ass.
i need a drink.
49 reports to do by 2.
46 minutes in – 3 done.
one of these reports is the size of the 10 that follow it.
some shit is gonna change around here.
so my dad just emailed to get my work number, then called me up. he noncholantly mentioned that he was getting a lump he found on his chest biopsied. this was after he said he had nothing going on.
monday is the fashion show.
tuesday is his board meeting.
they are in the middle of an audit – here and in spain.
i have a feeling, he has known about this for a while, and put it off until he could not anymore.
he’s already had two mellinoma’s removed. his father died of cancer, in one of the most painful deaths i ever witnessed firsthand (and i saw plenty of it).
if my dad dies of breast cancer, there will have to be a joke on the headstone.
I spent many hours today compiling historical/statistical/monetary information for a patron who is near death. The head of the press office was calling me every 15 minutes to ask if I had totals. I had to spend two hours in the bloody archives to crosscheck everything.
All the work I had scheduled? Flushed.
All the work I need to do? Rescheduled.
Tomorrow, I have a 6-hour block to do my monthly report closeout from January. That is twice the time it usually takes, but it is the first time I will be doing it. I hope it is enough.
FTR, I have meetings the two hours I am not working on reports tomorrow.
I need a holiday. Dead presidents’ birthdays can’t come soon enough.
As I said this morning? Ptooey.
Mornin.
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Today, before 7am, I managed to clean most of my apartment, and narrowly avoid death twice. Once when the shelf that holds all my pots and pans collapsed as I was standing beneath it (sorry if that woke you up
The second time was cleaning the bathroom, when I was attacked by
Why all this you ask? Someone decided to try and dig thier car out at 5am. As soon as I woke up from the jackhammeresque noise, I started going. I couldn’t even fathom the idea of lying there any longer – my brain was driving me nuts, so I tried to kill it with housework. There is about 2700 lbs of garbage and a bag of goodwill clothes to take down. This new job is definitely gonna chew me up and spit me out.
FTR – Subway’s chipotle sauce sucks worse than teenage broken hearts.