Day: February 24, 2005

  1. Jumped out of a moving vehicle doing more than 30mph, and lived to tell about it without a scratch.
  2. Took a 40oz bottle to the noggin, weilded by a drunken punk, then beat the piss out of said punk.
  3. Brewed/stilled alchoholic beverages in a substance-free dorm. For money. More than once.
  4. Tickled a trout out of a mountain stream, gutted the fucker, and used his guts for bait to catch more trout.
  5. Paid for a girl’s abortion, and claimed to be the father, on paper, to avoid fallout. I did this more than once, and none of the times was I actually sleeping with, or had designs to sleep with the women I did this for. I was actually paid back once.
  6. The lemon wedge bet, more than once. Nuff said.
  7. Stolen a memorial that weighed as much as I did at the time.
  8. Stayed drunk for an entire week to see if I could do it.
  9. Stayed awake for an entire week and worked through the hallucinations.
  10. Spit in the Mississippi river with one foor in Missouri, the other in Illinois.
  11. Came less than 1/4 inch from bleeding to death of a self-inflicted (accidental) puncture wound to the thigh.
  12. Played chess across the wire with a kid from Germany as a wee lad (before there was an internet), and get written up in the paper for it.
  13. Have sex on a Greyhound bus at 4am, while the bus was in transit, with other passengers on the bus. Got a standing ovation from the teenage punks three seats up when we finished.
  14. Been told by a professional spiritualist to leave the premesis of your interview/consulation because you are “hexed”.
  15. Seen someone try to use a ‘Jedi mind trick’ on a cop, in real life.