• Friday, had a great lunch with , despite the fact that we had to wait for almost a half hour for the bloody cafe to open! EDIT: But we saw frickin Doogie Howser!
  • Went to show with L. and .  Show kicked much ass.  Looking into acquiring songs by opening band, Devotchka.  Any band that has a female tuba player is o.k. in my book.
  •  Dresden Dolls kicked much ass.  Webster Hall is still an O.K. venue in my book, though it is decidedly less appealing with one less pool table and no smoking.
  • Met L.’s close friend, who is up from Fla.  He is really cool, and I was very glad to meet him.  Had many enjoyable conversations with him over the course of the weekend.
  • Got up early to complete costume, went home, put shit together, hit the town dressed as an Egyptian prince/king.
  • Went to the Juxtapoz  sponsored art show at the Lit Lounge/Fuse Gallery, where a friend of mine had a piece featured. It was a good time.
  • Close to the end of the show, stepped out with L. to meet up with , his wife, and another close friend who was in town for the weekend from Boston.  Must have dinner with all soon!
  • Went to unfuckingbelieveable party.  I have never lusted for a digicam like I did at this party.  So many ops missed.  Had a great time with ,,,,,,and the mob scene that is the bunch of peeps I am friends with that don’t have eljays.  As always, many thanks to our hosts, who suffered karmic backlash in the puke department at this party.  In all the years I been hangin, ain’t never seen so many people’s regurgitated dinners, and in all the bad locations!  Speaking of dinners, we need to make food plans  and .  Name the place or time, or just pick a night, and I’ll cook!
  • Went for a pizza run at 2am Sat, just in time to make it on the street for the chaos as the clocks turned back.  Watched four pies eaten faster than you can clear a pac-man level.
  • Watched Vampire Hunter D yesterday. Love that movie.  Cooked a nice brunch – bacon, cheesy eggs, keishka, sausage, english muffins and a raspberry danish roll.  For dinner, made mushroom chicken with fried pirogi, fresh onion and carrots.  I made an O.K. pumpkin pie too, considering it was canned pumpkin, and I had neither condensed milk nor cream to work with.
  • Happy Halloween!  Munchkins for my office, and new for y’all.
  • I think I may take a stab at NaNoWriMo, using the Jesuit ninja idea.

L. is meeting my parents for the first time tonight. We are meeting for dinner at one of my favorite spots in the city, coincidentally, the one we had L. and I had our first date at.

It came to my attention that my father has been totally dry since I had a concerned conversation with him the last time we were at the farm together (this from a man who generally polishes off 2-3 1.75L of Jack or Bombay in a week). My mother’s overtones seem to suggest that he is either going to stay dry, or get blotto.

Why do I have a feeling that I am setting myself up here somehow?

At least I know the food will be good!

i used to be much more active – i used to have way more time. i spent an hour last night on the train, and this is what i came up with. remember, the challenge is to have a story match the title, which you don’t pick. you can scope out other entries at the website probably tonight or tomorrow. not sure if mine will make it in since i submitted late. time will tell, as it always does. for about a thousand words, it does just about what I want it to.


Mr. Greene and his Immaculate Shoes

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the painting. The only reason I even remember the name of it is because of the artist, Dorothea Koch. Doubtless some waifish first year NYU student, Dorothea had scrawled the title next to her signature in the bottom left corner of the canvas. Amusingly, the red pigment she chose to scribble the title with ran right on to Mr. Greene’s left shoe. Perhaps the irony was intentional. I prefer to think it was not.

I just realized, in the three years I was with her, I don’t know where she got that painting. I always assumed it was something she got from an ex-girlfriend at college, or maybe bought for her first apartment. The piece certainly didn’t belong in her bedroom. The frame was gilded and poorly tacked, probably salvaged from something someone threw away on the street. It was too huge for the wall space she had available, hanging over the bed and dwarfing the headboard. I was the only guy Amelia ever went with. She picked me up off the street too. Maybe the picture came with the frame.

Amelia was the kind of woman who could never just get up and go somewhere. There were countless layers of makeup application, hair tweaking, and accessory picking. Running out to the grocery store took more preparation than the walk did. I guess I never noticed it until two weeks after we split, and I rolled out of bed to go buy a cup of coffee – something I hadn’t done in years. I think part of the reason was that she was uncomfortable in her own skin. Lord knows I wasn’t uncomfortable around her in her skin. In those three years I don’t think we spent a night apart or fully clothed.

Amelia never wanted to do anything alone, or want me to do anything alone. Her insecurity was contagious. Co-dependency bloomed in me like malaria, to the point I would get feverish if I had to work some overtime. Sometimes, I’m amazed it didn’t kill me. I was always making jokes about her going back to women, and she was always making jokes about me leaving her. Neither of us ever joked about the twenty years in age between us. We didn’t need to. It was apparent every time we lay next to each other; body heat and slick, taut and saggy. I often wish I had met her when she was younger, before she decided she fancied women.

Mostly I remember the painting because of it’s content. Who the hell paints the back of someone’s ankles and shoes? No walking, no action, no conflict. Five feet of canvas depicting tranquil shiny heels peeking out from under two pinstripe pant legs against a sea of sidewalk. Maybe that is the trick of the painting. You see the pant leg and assume male, and see the mannish heel jammed into thin Italian leather pumps and are supposed to laugh. I never found it funny. That painting used to be my only solace whenever she wanted it from behind. I would stare at that painting and try to stay hard, ignoring what was purring and gyrating below me between my legs. I would stare at the furious brushstrokes that added the luster to those sensuous heels, and I’d be able to hold on for another two minutes.

I met Amelia the same way I left her; so drunk I could barely stand on my own. That first night she picked me up at Cutty’s, I didn’t even remember her name. We clearly fucked that night, though I don’t remember any of it. When I woke up, I didn’t know where I was, who Amelia was, or where my clothes were. It was just me, her bed, and good old Mr. Greene. It took her hours to wake up, and by that time my hangover had dissolved into a dull throb and ravenous hunger. She introduced herself when she finally woke up, knowing, somehow, that I wouldn’t remember. Maybe I never knew. Nobody knows but her.

Amelia’s bedroom was too small for furniture other than her bed. Her dresser was in the closet in the hallway. The lightswitch was by the door, and there were heavy blinds. Even if I did remember a book, I could never read it, because turning on the light was the same as if I had to get up. She had the annoying habit of sleeping on the side not against the wall, so I would have to climb over her if I wanted to take a piss or go get a drink. I would always wake her in the process, and we would have a fight, which would generally end up with us fucking again. I never thought to just open the blinds.

I spent a lot of time staring at that painting. Amelia could sleep away a Saturday like someone who had put in an eighty hour work week. Amelia didn’t work, she lived off her inheritance. I shouldn’t be too judgmental, for a while, so did I. That ended when I found the box of dental dams. She swore they were old, but the receipt was from the week before. We never used protection. Maybe that is why it stung for months afterwards. It still stings.

Amelia did go back to women after I left her. I’ve been watching her for months, trying to figure out which of the freshman she would pick out, and how she would seduce them professionally, then discard them like twists of Kleenex. She doesn’t know what is coming, and, I imagine, she won’t until it is too late. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about that damn painting, and what it might mean. She used to tell me all the time, “Mark, you better give me what I need, or I’m gonna go look elsewhere.” I tried it as Mark, and she went elsewhere anyway.

The leather pumps bite my heels like puppy teeth. Not enough to break the skin, but enough to know they are there. By the end of the night, my ankles will probably be gashes – raw and red, like that puppy spent all night gnawing. The price will be worth it if I can talk to her, introduce myself again, maybe get her name. I know what she likes, and I know enough that I should be able to seduce her a little back.

My name will be Marci. Marci Greene.

I mentioned yesterday finishing Faith, Madness, and Spontaneous Human Combustion: What Immunology Can Teach Us About Self-Perception. It was not profound in revelation (aside from one tidbit I picked up about Mitochondrion, and a much deeper understanding of the complexity of some parasitic life forms), but I highly recommend it anyway. The author is very reminiscent of Oliver Sacks in the way that he breaks down complex scientific systems in a way a layman can grasp them, without dumbing down any of the scientific reality of those systems too much.

The recommendation for this book came from , in a conversation we were having about some of my far-flung theories on human evolution. I have been looking at immunobiology and it’s role in our specie’s development since I read The Seven Daughters of Eve in 1995. I personally think that inherited immunity/resistance and it’s role on societal development is vastly overlooked by historians and anthropologists alike (Jared Diamond notwithstanding).

Where it really hit me was the first time I seriously researched the black death. In the wake of the current news feasts on the influenza (both avian and older varieties) I’ve been mulling it over heavily again. Over the years I’ve gone through a couple of black death kicks, mostly because I feel it was such a pivotal event in the formation of Western culture, but, when you step back from it, also in Eastern culture, particularly in regards to how the relationship between the two evolved. Beyond the sociology, however, is this thought:


Why didn’t everyone die?

The same holds true for the flu.

What allows certain people to move on normally, healthily, or perhaps just mildly ill in the face of pandemics and epidemics which eradicate slews of other people? In the case of retroviruses, there is little chance of any “miracle survivors”, but aside from HIV/Aids, we haven’t had mass-fatality epidemics which were related to retroviruses (something which speaks volumes, in my mind, to the possibility of it being a manufactured disease).

There are two possibilities, clearly. Either the survivors had a built up immunity to something else which allowed them to skirt major infection, or the victims all shared a demographic deficiency which made them susceptible. Given the broad range of victims in past events, it seems unlikely to me that the second possibility is the strongest (though still possible).

So that brings me to the door frame of my problem with out classification system in modern science. Modern revisions in biological systematics, as it relates to “other” species. However, because of our contentious past as a culture when dealing with issues of race, particular racial inferiority/superiority, scientists are loathe to explore the sub-species potentials of our genetic lineage. My theory is that the black death targeted not an environmental subsection, but rather a European-based sub-species demographic of humans. I think the survivors were people who were not as succeptable to the pneumonic or septicemic outbreaks of the black death.

I think that moving forward, many of the other “under the hood” traits of the surviving subspecies have been pivotal in the development of Western culture. This all links into bigger ideas I have about humanity, our development, and what makes us different on multiple evolutionary points from most of the other species on the planet.

It doesn’t have to do with opposable thumbs, it has to do with memory, emotion, and the refinement of social patterns and triggered hormone release.

I wonder if I’ll ever get any further past the musing and outlining phases with any of this crap.

I could go on for hours about this (ask people who know me, they have heard me do it), so I’ll spare you the long-winded ramble. Read the book if you’ve ever been curious how your immune system works. Revise the axiom “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” to “Don’t categorize a book by jacket and genre, but rather by font, content, author, country of origin, paper type, ink type, page count, printing and binding method, as well as edition, revision, cover art, and condition.”

If you read through all this, or learn anything from my inane ramblings, please comment – I am really trying to coalesce a little on these ideas, and other people’s opinions are helpful in that endeavor.

so much going on, no time to update. the short version:


  • was away for a few days at a wedding.  had lots of fun, drove all over, L. caught the bouquet
  • super stressed at work right now
  • good friends may be moving back to town (i don’t want to jinx it)
  • didn’t sleep last night
  • finished Faith, Madness, and Spontaneous Human Combustion – have about three posts worth of thoughts that i may never get to as a result of that book. thanks for the suggestion
  • have too many plans stuck in to halloween weekend, and haven’t had a moment to figure out a costume
  • my two submissions got rejected post edit, one for a magazine, one for an anthology i was told previously was all set
  • did i mention i am stressed out about work?

waste your day away talking to the internet. i haven’t had this much fun since ELIZA. you can have great conversations like the one below:

The internet says:
Who are you?
Puny human says:
my name is Inigo Montoyo. You kill my father. Prepeare to die.
The internet says:
Prepeare to die.
Puny human says:
i think not, for you see… i am not left handed.
The internet says:
Even if that slice is small –and it does not appear small to me at this .
Puny human says:
the slice has to be small, when the mutton is lean and the tomatoes are perky….
The internet says:
txt a 3 aback 1 abacus 1 abalone 1 abandon 1 abase 1 abash 1 abate 1 abater 1 abbas 1 abbe 1 abbey 1 abbot 1 abbreviate 1 abc 1 abdicate 1 abdomen 1 abdominal 1 abduct 1 abed 1 aberrant 1 aberrate 1 abet 1 abetted 1 abetting 1 abeyance 1 abeyant 1 .
Puny human says:
she’s not a witch, she’s your wife!
The internet says:
TBDigital My wife hates her father’s current wife, with good reason too as the woman is a hateful witch.
Puny human says:
you are miracle max, can’t you make a pill or something for that?
The internet says:
You have to believe and know that God will do what you asked Him to do.
Puny human says:
woah, when did we switch to the wedding scene? if you say “twue wuv” i’m out of here.
The internet says:
B3 { border: #C00 solid 2px;}.
Puny human says:
hm, that is almost as nonsensical, congratulations!
The internet says:
This is an edited version of an essay that first appeared on The Iron-On Line .
Puny human says:
The Iron-On Line? Who the hell edited this thing, Mr. T’s retarded love monkey?
The internet says:
I used to sing this on the school bus and never knew what the hell they were .
Puny human says:
retarded love monkeys? well, they are monkeys, that love you, and have mental problems.
The internet says:
You will not provide access to any of the materials in these Web pages to any persons under 18 years old or to any persons who do not have the legal right to access adult materials.
Puny human says:
ok, fuck you, i’m postin this.
The internet says:
NIGGA I SWEAR TO GOD YOU BETTA NOT BE POSTIN THAT SHIT NIGGAS IS STEALIN MY NAME!.

happy birthday !
happy birthday !

if i had the money, i’d buy you all the booze in this pic to celebrate.

but i don’t, so you get this lame post instead. have a good day.

EDIT:they closed part of penn station earlier, but just amtrak.
people are jittery like i can’t believe over this. i will admit, i am one of them.

what i am reading, allegedly, is that one of the people they arrested overseas admitted to being part of a bigger thing, which is why they are so uptight.

i love this town, and i hate this town, to the point of nausea.

what is really making me ill, i think, is the idea that they knew about this for two days and were “concerned that the story may damage operations” if it broke. i am all against this hollywood bullshit where you stop the bomb with three seconds left, but i’d prefer to be far the fuck away (which i can do in two days notice) in case somebody cuts the wrong fucking wire, or that barrel marked “flour” is actually full of anthrax dust and c4.

lets take this out of the terror perspective. would you call someone two days after you noticed they had a lot of smoke coming out of their back yard to make sure they knew about it, even if it might not be a fire, and could just be a leaf pile burning or something? maybe if you were the shittiest neighbor ever.

i have no patience for the bloat – i hope it doesn’t fail, yet i would love to see it fail. then again, after new orleans, even abject failure doesn’t seem to be able to get people off thier asses anymore. part of the reason that there are people who want to kill is is the fucking sstem putting the people in place to protect us, and the methods those protectors use. kobayashi marou anyone?

Try a Thursday queez!
Yep, that’s right. Instead of one 15 question queez tomorrow, we are getting a two part 12 question extravaganza! Mostly, it is because I am going batty at work, and need to procrastinate, so I will be building material all day.

For those playing at home, hands on your buzzers now please. The theme for this two part extravaganza: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.


I am back from the farm. I was back yesterday, but so overplowed/tired that things didn’t get done in the order I wanted them to.

L’Shanah Tovah Tikatevu! Hopefully I will see this week so I can give her well wishes in person. There was nobody on the road today. I should have taken the bus, I would have made it on time, instead of 30 mins early.

The farm has come a long way. My brother did a ton of work upstairs, and my dad cleared a huge amount of brush and scrub around the house. The barn is still a shambles, but they did a lot of renovation downstairs. The basement was power washed and cleaned out, and the side room is now stocked with hardware and rack shelves. The kitchen has been totally re-done, and the cat carpets have been ripped up and replaced with vinyl tile. Much more livable, but still pleasantly rustic. I bought a new knife, and carved a walking stick, which I intend to trick out next visit up. It is black birch. I forgot how pleasant carving/whittling was. It was still a shit load of work. I am going to buy a camera soon, so there will be more good pic collections of my journeys.

I may also look into getting a PA bow hunter license for next season. Less because I am gung ho about killing a deer, and more because of my longstanding fascination with archery, bowyery, and fletching. If I do go through with all this, I will probably end up buying or trying to make my own longbow (I may buy one first, then learn how to make them with a working example). Lord knows between my brother and my father, there will be enough feathers around to try a hand at fletching. (Damn, in doing prelim research, I found someone that killed a Kodiac with a longbow. You better be damn good to go on THAT trip!) This is all a long-term project, but something I am definitely interested in.

In other news, I settled my monitor woes. Instead of spending 1000+$ on two 21″ flat screen monitors, I found an excellent supplier of refurb 20″ Dell 9E249 UltraSharp monitors, which were about the same price as a 19″, but can do 1600×1200 resolution. Soon I will be back to 40″ of desktop, for about the same price as if I had settled for the two 19 inchers.

I didn’t do a queez last week, cuz I was leaving a little early to go to the farm. I will see if I can maybe do a midweek one, and a friday one this week. I need to update , but have no idea if that will realistically happen. I have a series of posts I want to write based on a snippet I put together this weekend while everyone else was sleeping. We’ll see if that happens…

Happy Tuesday.