I had a revelation last night.
For years I have been searching for meaning, understanding, a sense of community and wholesomeness which I once had, when I had unwavering faith, but lost when that fell to the floor and shattered.
Last night, Jesus picked up the pieces. The devil’s plan of muddying my world with fact, with science, with philsophy, and history, and antrhopology has failed.
I realized the brilliance of Jesus’ plan. I had known for years how his message of messianic millitarism had been twisted by persecuted Christians when the Romans pushed the cult underground. Not everyone realizes that Jesus was an asskicker. He loves us, sure, but he wants us to save ourselves, and others, through force of arms. Drive out the corruption. Drive out the wrongdoers. Drive the blight of the sickled moon and the scar of the braided star from the Holy Land. Salvation comes with a scourge and some pain. It took centuries of a message of love to turn to a message of hatred, intolerance, and war. Jesus planted a seed on Golgotha, and it has sprouted in this day and age, birthing the new Crusade in preparation for the Rapture. It is not for the weak of heart. It is not for the wicked. Not everyone will be saved. You have to find Jesus in your heart, and tell him you believe, and that you will be his soldier. Being a soldier for Jesus means being willing to die for what you believe in, for what He teaches. It means being willing to kill for what you believe in, for what He teaches. It means saving as many as you can, and being able to condemn those who will not see the light, despite you reaching out with the hope of Jesus’ love. Being a solder of Christ means fighting the evils around the world and at home. It means stopping the abomonations of same-sex relationships, abortion, unwed pregnancy, drinking, and drugs. It means you devote yourself to a cause which will offer you redemption when the Rapture comes.
Jesus found me last night, and you guys are screwed. Most of you on my friends list are heathens, nonbelievers, or worse. Convert or die. I don’t have to preach it, the President is (God bless him), Middle America is (God bless them), and the rest of the world who embraces the truth and sanctity of the pureness of Jesus’ message. Accept Jesus’ love in your hearts, or die and burn forever in torment. Expect a friends list cut later this afternoon, after I get back from my Baptism.
I would like to thank this man for opening this door for me. Next to Jesus, he will always be one of my favorite people.
