Month: June 2006

for non fatalists, the future is always in motion. for independent souls, every minute is a new beginning. i float somewhere in between. i feel that past action has a direct effect on future potential. i believe the limitations of that potentiality can be fought against or nurtured through action, but only to a finite point. that finite point is the break zone. it is the places where life moves you, rather than you moving through life.

patterns. it always comes back to patterns. looking at patterns behind you, and assuming they will lead to points in the future.

there is no interdisciplinary “theory of complexity”. there is nothing that suggests that emergent patterns in lower level closed systems are in any way mirrored as the complexity of the dynamics of the system increases. going macro to micro though, it certainly seems that when you go from cellular>atomic>subatomic this holds true. the observations of subatomic wave characteristics are where things get interesting. are we part of a rigid hierarchy of emergent laws and behavior, or are we at the bendy part where there is a law governing probability but not absolute accuracy?

time passes. we pass through it. things that happened before continue to happen again, until we cannot observe them any longer to verify the veracity of assumptions that the past will repeat in the future. the kicker is, what little history we have to work with? certainly seems that even if the laws of our environment are not emergent, our reactions to those laws as a species are.

when people get into free will vs. determinism, it is always about an individual lifestream. nobody seems to look at the bigger picture in the logical arguments for or against. what if free will is the wave theory of determinism? what if all of our ability to make good and bad decisions is what keeps all the mechanics above us churning away the way they are supposed to?

i guess, the scarier question is, what if it doesn’t? i’m far more comfortable with a anomaly-driven path to a future point that is part of a bigger system than i am with a total soup. i think it comes from embracing to far and too often the absurdist look at chaos, and how, really, anything is possible. if anything is possible, there really doesn’t have to be “a point”. if there is “a point” then there is always a chance, no matter how slip, that “the point” has an opposite sibling just on the other side of a thick curtain of improbability.

when are we going to learn to embrace the long view? probably not until there aren’t enough of us left for it to make a difference.

i finally went and bought an mp3 player whose name starts with ‘i’

iGot my new iAudio X5L. this thing records audio from mic, can record ANYTHING from a line in, plays mp3, video and flash, and has a battery that will last longer than your ability to see this post on your friends page. it also has an fm radio tuner, so i can start listening to opie and anthony on the way to work, now that they are back on regular radio!

this fucking thing is so sweet!

did anyone, for even a second, think that i sold out and threw my cash at a fucking subpar, DRM-supporting hardware solution to my music needs?

iDon’t

every time you buy an iPod, it makes steve jobs jerk off, and you know what happens to all those kittens when that happens!

all you people who consider the the mags at the checkout line at the local c-town “educational reading” and don’t know Byron from Bradjelina should probably skip this one.

As Falstaff would say, if he were me, and alive today:
“There is not enough gin in all of Christendom to temper the embers of my anger, nor drown the flailing of my sorrow.”

Enjoy your weekends.

i have been fighting for a long time against my inner comic geek, mostly because i think it is a waste of money for some half-assed story with good art, or half assed art with good story. rarely o the two meet where they should. i have to say though, i am appreciative of marvel’s current plot arc as it relates to taking a swat at the political environs hear in amerikur.

what i have always partaken in is graphic novels. they are slightly more than if you buy all the single editions, but i am really not into the subscription thing anymore.

when tripping around looking for the third installment of the graphic novelization of r.a. salvatore’s first dark elf trilogy (which is not out yet) , i happened upon this. which is, apparently, an attempt to comicize the dragonlance saga.

wow.

i can only hope that peter jackson will make a movie sometime before i die.

Through that seed that sings flowers,
that flower that cries pollen,
that cycle which keeps life green…

Through the shining grass,
those sun-soaked fields,
and the mighty oak….

Celebrate the longest day,
for tomorrows hold no promises.

in the past week, i have done all kinds of stuff.
not the least of which are turning down a headhunted position for twice my salary, submitting three works for publication, trying to figure out the rest of my life, and traveling to Toronto with ,, and .

the purpose of the trip was to celebrate the recent gradumatation of . in addition we enjoyed some great food, some crazy travels, and plethoras of music. pictures when i can get them posted.

i am at a weird place right now. i am trying not to stress about money and failing. i am trying not to dwell on current events and failing. i have been reading Benjamin Franklin : An American Life, which i vaulted into after reading The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, which I felt I needed more information to assimilate totally. these are both on the tail of Salt : A World History.

all three are superb reads. salt offered a very interesting view of the development of world history. while there were many things i knew already, there were a few things i learned, which definitely made it worthwhile. i loved that the book offered culinary history in addition to cultural insight. it made me want to pickle stuff.

my quest for franklin comes on the wake of a discussion of heroes and anti heroes which devolved from a lj poll or some nonsense some time ago. franklin has always been a hero of mine. he is someone who walked the line between honest and straightforward and totally manipulative and duplicitous for the purposes of manipulation. regardless of his mode of action, he was someone who fought for what he believed in, made compromises when needed to, and put up his dukes when the compromises failed. as i much suspected, his memoirs are rather allegorical, and somewhat hazy on certain facts, but having a good basis for further research has helped round some edges, and sharpen some things i previously considered round about him.

reading about franklin’s life and times has simply made me more dissatisfied with the here and now. we live in a country with a bustling middle class steeped in ignorance and consumerism, with very little social mobility through useful tradesman labor. most of our issues regarding international debt, international trade, and the threats apparent to that middle class via globalism and off shoring and outsourcing are directly correlated to the death of the skilled laborer in our country. it scares me that there is no longer a frontier to escape to.

despite all my focus on reading for enrichment, it seems my brain has been pushing on only creative for several weeks. i have stories pouring out of my head, but little time to get more than skeletons put together. i need to make some tome to rectify that. i don’t know when though, as i will be spending the independence day week out and about, and have a couple other weekend engagements spread throughout the summer.

work is nuts. i foresee many many early mornings in my future, if i want to maintain a human schedule in the afternoon/evenings.

n other news, i need some new suits, a new mp3 player (mine is last-legging) and some sleep. wednesday is the solstice, anyone know of any good rooftop bars?

as i was uploading this icon, “The Power” came up on my mp3 player. some days i think i am the punchline of some sort of cosmic joke. i wish i knew who the comedian was.

much to my surprise, the “low carb-oat covered bun” in my lunch was not too bad tasting.
i must say, however, that it had the texture of a hockey puck that had been microwaved on “high” then left in a humidor.
even with the oats, a horse would not’t eat that shit.
lets hear it for new uses for sawdust!

S T R E S S

I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate.

Read the full description before looking at the picture.

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it.

It was used in a case study on stress level at St. Mary’s Hospital.
Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are
identical.

A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in spite
Of the fact that the dolphins are identical; a person under stress would
find differences in the two dolphins, while a person who is calm, serene
and relaxed would find no differences at all.

If there are many differences found between both dolphins,it means that
the person is experiencing a great amount of stress.

Look at the photograph. If you find more than one or two differences it
may be an indicator that you are experiencing high stress levels and you
may want to take a holiday attack the causes of your stress with a nail-ridden baseball bat.

the sky is the color of jungle slate.
the light has substance, fighting through those clouds.
the thunder cracks its whip like
a mistress in a bad mood.

the air hangs heavy, waiting to be freed
of gallons
of drops
of sweat…

why did someone, long ago,
decide worshiping invisible men
made more sense
than begging mercy of
elemental power
you can feel in the air?

i wish the rains and thunder
stood in place of incense and iconography,
and that the jagged tears of the sun
that dance across the sky
were the only angels
man ever knew.

why is august here in june?

i got so little sleep last night, it is amazing that i am moving. i have a 14 hour day ahead of me, minimum.
i wish whining made things better.
, i am going to have to rain check with you, and catch up with you over ze weekend.