We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules
\nfrom the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all
\nnumbered “1” ON PURPOSE! <\/p>\n
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up,
\nput it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down.
\nYou don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. <\/p>\n
1. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon. Let it be. <\/p>\n
1. Crying is blackmail. <\/p>\n
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one Subtle hints do
\nnot work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
\nit! <\/p>\n
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
\nquestion. <\/p>\n
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
\nThat’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. <\/p>\n
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. <\/p>\n
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
\nfact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. <\/p>\n
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t
\nexpect us to act like soap opera guys. <\/p>\n
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. <\/p>\n
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
\nways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. <\/p>\n
1. You can either ask us to do something g or tell us how you want it
\ndone. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
\nyourself. <\/p>\n
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
\ncommercials. <\/p>\n
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. ALL
\nmen see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
\nexample, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
\nidea what mauve is. <\/p>\n
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. <\/p>\n
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like
\nnothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
\nthe hassle. <\/p>\n
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an
\nanswer you don’t want to hear. <\/p>\n
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to
\ndiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation , or monster
\ntrucks. <\/p>\n
1. You have enough clothes. <\/p>\n
1. You have too many shoes. <\/p>\n
1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape. <\/p>\n
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
\ncouch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, it’s like
\ncamping.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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